An Anthropological Study of the Hyuuga
by Ikasury
Summary: -People always wonder why I’m so stern, seemingly emotionless, in my dealings with others…- Inside look at the inner workings of Hyuuga Hiashi... semi-plot, ficclets, and no distinct pairings, just angsty-crack involving the Hyuuga Lord...
1. Hiashi

A/N: This is completely random, and quite frankly I have no idea where it came from -grins- though i do love its simplicity, and... I dunno, maybe I might add to this when I get more ideas -shrugs-

Dis: All is owned by that money-making #$!#!$ known as Kishimoto, all I got is the funny idea, and the conjecture of Hiashi's past, nothing really else... I wish I had money T.T

* * *

An anthropological study of the 'Hyuuga'

-_People always wonder why I'm so stern, seemingly emotionless, in my dealings with others…_-

Hyuuga Hiashi took and deep intake of breath through his nose as he settled into one of the few moments he had to himself. It was often in these moments he took the time to meditate, physically aspiring to nothing while mentally aspiring to attain and understand everything. It was one of those rare days where instead of taking this peaceful moment to study the delights of nothingness on one's path to attaining Nirvana, or taking this time to consider the politics of his daily life, or simply taking the time to view recent events through his own all-seeing-eyes. No, not today, today was a rare and awe-inspiring day where Hyuuga Hiashi would take this small, brief and silent moment to reflect introverted on one of his greatest feats.

-_People always want to know why the Hyuuga are the highest among the noble clans. Why it is WE have the right to appear seemingly superior to all around us. These common fools always try so hard to impress any obtaining the mighty Byakuugan, be it in challenging us to a physical fight or one of wits! But the result is always the same, whether or not we win the competition, we always win the war with our supposedly 'snobbish' or 'smug' look after whatever confrontation. It is a common topic, the 'mystery' behind our seemingly unyielding facade of emotionless, uncaring, and ruthless stone-like faces and our 'look-down-upon' attitudes, even from the branch members._-

The Hyuuga lord took another breath, his own 'emotionless' face near the breaking point of giving away the most-ungodly secret in the world: Hyuuga Hiashi cracking a smirk and laughing. But no, taking another deep breath to calm his mounting desire to 'giggle' at the ludicrousness of the common folks about this _mighty_ 'secret' of the Hyuuga. Of course, once the inane yearning ceased, being forced under years of his own brand of mental discipline, his drifting thoughts were brought to the 'interesting' ideas those commoners came up with for their 'persona'.

-_"They're nobles they don't care!"_

"_They're demons with no souls!"_

"_They were never born without emotions…"_

"_They're powerful; the powerful don't have time for such petty things…"_-

As odd as these sayings were, especially directed towards a Hyuuga, of course never to their face, Hiashi had heard, or 'seen', them time and again throughout his life time.

"Pfft," a very uncouth remark to come from someone of such regal standing.

-_Such ingrates, just because they don't understand the way we act they think they can slander us behind our backs._-

"Hmph," Not caring at all that he was showing his irritation at a mere thought.

-_I really shouldn't be doing this, to show emotion would undermine my entire façade…_-

Taking a small moment to pump little chakra into his eyes and activating his infamous bloodline at its smallest degree, so small the veins didn't even appear around his eyes and only the barest hit of chakra fluctuation could be felt. Finding himself comfortably alone in his viewing room, his mind returned to his thoughts.

-_Why do I even bother? I AM alone after all; a snicker or two's not going to bring the Hokage monument down…_-

The barest, smallest, tiniest hint of a corner of his mouth twitched up in that fraction of a second. To think him showing emotion would cause the great mountain to crumble, he mentally laughed at the image.

-_heh heh, those fools, to think I've become so wound up in my own mask that I would think such a ridiculous thing. Though it would be quiet the feat? Or perhaps my sudden unbridled show of my 'human' capacity would cause a riot, that causing the mountain to fall?_-

Hiashi mentally chuckled again, reveling in the absurd idea for a moment, before its significance came to the forefront of his mind.

-_Have I really become such a being that that would be 'possible'? Have I succumbed to those taunts, jeers, and obscenities so successfully that I actually have become what those people used to refer to our honored clan in hushed whispers?_-

He took a moment to reflect on his past, an even rarer thing coming for the infamous man then mere introversion. Where before his mouth hinted upwards; it came to a disturbingly familiar scowl; bringing to him more thoughts about the familiarity of the scowl apart from the alien feel of a smile.

-_I suppose in some, no many ways I have become what they thought of the Hyuuga._-

His scowl deepened for a moment.

-_Not like any of those bastards understand the life of a Hyuuga anyway. This façade is the face of a noble, as much as even I hate it at times. We are the upper-crust of the populace here, it wouldn't be appropriate for us to appear 'normal'... not like anyone would consider someone who looks blind from birth 'normal._­-

He huffed, his own inner thoughts bringing his blood close to a boil. If there was one thing Hyuuga Hiashi hated it was being looked down upon as an invalid.

-_To think my first time on my own outside these walls I was thought of as a poor, helpless blind child who didn't know anything right in front of him_-

A practical growl emanated in his chest, keeping it low so no one would hear. After all Hyuuga Hiashi does not growl, and certainly no because he was 'angry' at a distant event he could barely recall. His left brow twitched the smallest bit noticing his 'flaw', and made quick work to correct the slip, even if he was internally roaring.

-_Stupid people, they live in the village the Hyuuga originated in… no, the village THE HYUUGA BUILT, and the incipit idiots couldn't tell the difference between defective eyes and those that carry the mighty Byakuugan!!_-

He took a deep breath, reminding himself, yet again, he should keep his cool, even if he would have preferred rampaging at the moment. He took a moment to orient himself and to clear his mind of useless thoughts, especially annoying memories. The scowl dropped off his face, being replaced with his stone nothingness he was known for, and after a moment of checking to make sure no one was around, he took another deep breath, remembering his small 'payback' to these people, and the whole reason behind his façade. He internally grinned, so malicious and mischievous it would put Kyuubi to shame.

-_You people think you can affect me? Try as you might to impress me, either by status, position, rank, skill, or intention, but in the end you all look the same to me…_-

This time his natural reflex of crushing any form of 'smile' before it made its way on his face didn't work, in fact he let forth a full blown idiotic and wicked grin grace his once stone face.

-_After all, who could ever be taken seriously when all they're wearing is their underwear…_-

Then, for a moment, the façade left; 'Lord Hyuuga Hiashi' was replaced by a middle-aged man who giggled to himself about pulling the greatest, and perhaps most perverted, prank known to man, one even the tricky Kitsune and Tanuki would be proud of. This man with the white eyes and long hair of a Hyuuga grinned, a wide and wonderful grin.

-_And the best part is, none of them are any the wiser, because why would Hyuuga Hiashi do such a thing?_-

For perhaps the first time since this man became the clan leader, a childish giggle was heard in his viewing room.

* * *

Review, Pyon!!

Till next salute-waves Sayounara, Mina!!

-Ikasury


	2. Neji

A/N: more crack through the eyes of Hiashi, -.- i can't believe he doesn't have his own category on this site, would seriously make things alot easier... -snickers- oh well, no idea how long this will last, but this weird idea came to mind...

Dis: i got nothing but a deep, dark, and twisted mind -.- all them other things're Kishi-kun's...

* * *

Today's Subject: Hyuuga Neji

-_Ahh, my dear brother, I hope you are happy in paradise, because your son is a wonder to behold…_-

A mental smile graced the Hyuuga lord's imaginary lips as he opened his eyes to study his nephew.

-_He has the power all Hyuuga should aspire to. The poise and dignity our great clan is to be known for…_-

The well trained and aged white eyes of the Hyuuga patriarch, Hyuuga Hiashi, took in every detail as his brother's successor displayed a difficult kata before him. Internally his mental smile grew, even if his lips remained in their normal neutral stance on the outside. Watching his nephew complete the kata and move on to another, Hiashi nodded.

-_His form in our mighty style Jyuuken is perfect in every way, I've yet to find a single flaw, never a misstep, never a mistake; he truly is the prodigy of our great clan…_-

Hiashi watched Neji continue his training for a few more moments before activating his 'special technique'. The mental grin fell from the internal visage of the Hyuuga patriarch when his advanced Byakuugan activated at its lowest level, so that his veins didn't show around his eyes. Internally the old man with the white eyes wanted to smack himself in the head; externally Hiashi refrained from moving a muscle.

-_If there was one thing I would EVER change about your 'perfect' son, brother Hizashi, it would be that he didn't inherit your bizarre taste in undergarments…_-

For the smallest of moments the left brow above the clan head's prestigious Byakuugan twitched, so small one would need a microscope and video-recorder, and watch the film a million times over to confirm that his brow did indeed move, however small. While on the inside, Hiashi's more 'liberal' self was twitching away without care to who could see him.

-_Why, Why, WHY KAMI did you have to let the pride of the Hyuuga inherit his father's like for 'tighty-whities'?_-

The miniscule work of his left brow seemed to continue, though obviously unnoticed.

-_I swear, of all the habits he could have picked up from his father, it had to be wearing those boorish underwear!! I mean seriously, if he were MY son, I would have taught him early on "never wear tighty-whities!!"_-

The clan head's keen eyes examined his nephew closely. He knew in his mind if anyone ever found out about his 'ability' not only would they try to shamelessly cover themselves, like it would do them any good, but they would more than likely be extremely pissed at him. Some would even go so far as to call HIM a pervert, but that was something to address on a later date. No, Hiashi was no pervert, at least not at the moment, and his eyes were more trained on 'aesthetics' then perversion, he'd after all long ago learned how to tell people by their 'undies'.

Internally he was sighing into his hand.

-_Neji, it's no damn wonder everyone thinks you're too stuck up, or more appropriately think a stick is stuck up somewhere it shouldn't be_-

His internal self was snickering at his own 'joke', while externally being as expression as a rock.

-_Honestly, Neji, what the hell is the benefit of tighty-whities? They are too constricting and are glorified Speedos_-

He took another look and was mentally shaking his head.

-_And they leave nothing to the imagination, I truly wonder what that brunette he's always watching will think when she sees him stripped down to his skivvies?_-

Hiashi's mental self was snickering again at the thought of the girl busting out laughing at the sight. In the next moment he shivered as a thought came to mind.

-_Damn!! The pride of the Hyuuga will never get laid, let alone keep his pride, if she sees that atrocity he calls underwear!!_-

The mental apparition of Hyuuga Hiashi mused.

-_I wonder if I can convince him to try boxer-briefs? I mean they provide the same 'support' tighty-whities do, only slightly less constricting and would spare him the shame of a glorified Speedo? Hmm, perhaps…_-

The internal thoughts of the Hyuuga patriarch began giggling.

-_Perhaps I could somehow get the aid of that girl, what was her name? Penpen, no, Paten, no, Ten-something, Whatever, I know what she looks like!! Hmm, and maybe his other teammate's help wouldn't be bad either_­-

He internally shuttered again, quickly trying to erase the images from his mind the thoughts the 'proud green beasts of Konoha' brought to mind.

-_Ugh!! Scratch that, I don't care how prideful they are, they have nothing to be proud of, and I WILL NOT have the pride of the Hyuuga free-balling like them!! It's too easy to get injured that way, in our line of work, and I play on being a Great-Uncle one day!!_-

Mental Hiashi was shaking his head vigorously trying to remove all 'images' and anything else in an attempt to clear his head. On the outside the great Hyuuga clan head merely closed his eyes, took a breath, and opened them again, his eyes finding his nephew again, and the one thing he cursed more than….. well anything really!!

-_I hate tighty-whities, and I damn you brother for this one flaw you put in your nearly perfect son!!_-

There was a deep breath in front of Hiashi, followed by a strong and masculine voice, "Hiashi-sama, I have finished today's training." His face was a practical mirror of stone to the Hyuuga lord.

Hiashi nodded, quick and curtly, receiving a deep bow from his prestigious nephew, "You may leave." With that small command the young Hyuuga male did as such, quickly exiting the front of the estate gates.

Lord Hyuuga Hiashi sat there for a moment, in complete silence. He discovered himself to be completely alone on the porch of the Hyuuga's dojo. Suddenly he closed his infamous eyes, took and exceedingly deep breath, and let out a loud, long sigh, "One flaw in perfection must be quickly remedied."

-_I hate tighty-whities_-

* * *

A/N: i agree, i hate tighty-whities, and i don't care what my one friend says, Boxer-Briefs are damn smexy, Boxers and Briefs be damned!! a good inbetween that looks good XD

review, please? -uses puppy-eyes no jutsu-

Till next -Salute-waves- Sayounra, Mina!!

-Ikasury


	3. Hanabi

A/N: YAY!! i got a review -runs around dancing- thank you very much Inquisitor Soarn!! now all you mortals, follow him, and review to my crack!!

yes, its been awhile, but i kinda had a down period, then i got this e-mail saying 'Review' and it wasn't for my ANBU no Yoko, but this, so i decided to dredge up my old ideas for tormenting Hiashi, and wrote this -grins evily-

Dis: same as usual, that mofo Kishi-kun is making fat stacks of cash by owning Naruto, while i'm broke and ripping on the Hyuugas...

* * *

Today's subject: Hyuuga Hanabi

-_Ahh, my dear wife, wherever you may be in the heavens, I pray you are happy_-

The Hyuuga lord sighed as he lit the incense in the family shrine. He placed it in the alter with practiced ease, and clapped his hands together in prayer.

-_I pray you everlasting peace in the presence of Kami, and I pray your next life isn't as short-lived as yours was with us_-

He sat a moment in prayer, collecting his thoughts, as he considered what he'd want to say to beloved wife. He enjoyed the silence of the shrine, it allowed for clearing of his thoughts where in other places in the mansion he'd be 'distracted'.

-_I know this is rude of me to say, my dear, but there are times I wish you were still with us. I miss your smile, your grace, I miss your tender care those around you…_-

Hiashi was immersed in his thoughts; the whole outside world seemed to have disappeared. Of course this kind of peace never lasted.

"OTOU-SAN!!" came a rather loud scream from outside.

Internally Hiashi cringed, while outwardly nary showing a muscle twitch.

-_There a times my dear wife I wish you were still here so you could deal with your daughters, especially the younger one_-

"OTOU-SAN!!" Hanabi's rather rambunctious voice seemed to fill the entire mansion.

Again, Hiashi internally cringed. This was one of the reasons he had 'fled' to the sanctity of the family shrine. Although he would never admit this out loud because Hyuuga Hiashi doesn't 'flee' anything, especially not his prepubescent daughter.

-_I don't get it?! When she was younger she did everything I said, she still does, sort of, but since she's 'grown up' some, she's become a raving banshee I can't seem to escape!!_-

Internal Hiashi was ripping his long, luxurious hair out. He could easily picture himself prostrated and groveling in front of a stone image of his deceased wife, begging for any kind of help. Yes, in his mind he would do that, and even in reality he probably would if the Hyuuga matriarch was still alive, after she was the one who REALLY ran the clan.

-_How could you leave me with two daughters anyway?! I'm a man!! I don't know a damn thing about raising girls, and Hinata was easy, she practically raised herself… but Hanabi_-

"OTOU-SAN!!" he could distinctly hear the impatience in his youngest daughter's voice.

The internal middle-aged man with the white eyes was cringing again, while outwardly showing nothing other than that infinitesimal quark sized eyebrow twitch.

-_she's certainly lived up to her name, a firecracker whizzing around my head, being loud and screeching in my ear until she stops and explodes!!_­-

If anyone could see inside the Hyuuga patriarch's head they would see his internal version banging his head against the floor while still begging his long dead wife to rise from her grave and help with 'her' daughter.

"Otou-san!" the girl huffed next to her father, having finally cornered- I mean 'found' him in the family shrine.

-_Kami –Sama is this some kind of payback for something I did in a previous life?? I mean I love both my daughters, in slightly different ways, but this… 'Child' is going to be the death of me!! So what if she can perform every form of Jyuuken perfectly and can be a perfect lady in front of guests… But when it's just me… Horror_-

The mental side of Hyuuga Hiashi was in a fetal position, rocking back and forth. While in reality he was still as calm and cool as ever, sitting in his meditation position and calmly letting a breath out before acknowledging his youngest daughter, "Yes, Hanabi, is there something you want?" he could practically feel the girl pouting behind him.

"Otou-san, what is this?" and she brought out a piece of undergarment and showed it to her father, Hiashi was suddenly found faced with every father's horror.

-_WHERE THE HELL DID SHE FIND A THONG?!_-

Momentarily the great lord of the Hyuuga household's mind crashed… rebooting… applying new files… resetting hard-drive… Good afternoon HyuugaPimp48… you have one unresolved problem: Daughter + Thong ERROR...

The Hyuuga lord just stared at the 'garment' in question his eyes narrowing only a fraction, "Where did you get… 'That'?"

The younger Hyuuga's eyes drifted to her left, avoiding her father's gaze, "Nowhere…"

-_Okay, if she's not lying I'm not a Hyuuga. And I swear my dearest if they pick up your habits… as much I loved you wearing such 'garments' as that and butt-floss, cause it was really sexy on YOU!! I do NOT want to think about my own daughters wearing such… things_-

The internal Hiashi now had a red face and an unhealthy stream of blood coming out of his nose as the pristine statue of his deceased wife was now sporting nothing but a G-string. Only the most minute, infinitely tiny, tinge of pink dusted the elder Hyuuga's face, or it was simply bad shading from the candles in the shrine, who knew. But quickly strangling- I mean shaking his internal self to get his mind out of the gutter and to think straight, the elder Hyuuga preformed his 'secret technique'.

-_Oh, thank you sweet merciful Kami-sama, purple panties with pink teddy bears and her training bra, no butt-floss, no thong, nothing lacy, thank you, thank you, you merciful being_-

"Hanabi, I'll only ask again, where did you get that?" The Hyuuga patriarch looked as cold as stone sitting before his youngest daughter, his voice about as flat as the expression on his face. Meanwhile his mind could really care less; the middle-age pervert with the white eyes was still 'distracted' by the image of his wife in 'almost' nothing.

Hanabi seemed to blush and mumbled something under her breath. When Hiashi told her to speak louder, her gaze again seemed to drift from his calculating eyes, "Hinata-nee-chan's room…" and to make matters worse, she was poking her fingers together.

…Rebooting… applying new settings… resetting hard-drive… Good afternoon HyuugaPimp48… it seems your system has crashed again today, would you like to download new 'Shock-proof' software? Y/N…

When Hanabi's father had yet to respond after five minutes she assumed she wasn't going to get any information out of him, "So… I guess I'll just go put this back, and leave for my team training…" She stood there for another five minutes, still no response. She quickly took her father's stone gaze as her cue to leave.

He was quiet and he was still for a few moments after his youngest daughter left. Then suddenly his brow began to twitch, small at first before quickly growing into a full-blown stress induced twitch. Meanwhile his internal self was just dead, dumb, and totally shocked so bad he couldn't say a thing.

He took a deep breath, then another, then another, until he had managed to limit the twitch to barely noticeable. Then he turned back to the picture of his wife, lighting another incense and placing it in the alter and he began to pray again.

-_My dear wife, maybe it's not Hanabi I should be worried about…_-

* * *

A/N: i just feel so evil, the Hyuuga's are my favorite clan, and i love ripping on them...

review?

Till next -Salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!!

-Ikasury


	4. Hinata

A/N: hehehe, i'd love to thank everyone that reviewed, i'm so glad you love my little torment of Hiashi... and i'm so glad most of you who reviewed pretty much cracked up at the whole 'thong' mess... hehehe, honestly, where else would Hanabi find it?? -snickers-

anywho, here's the continueation, and i'll apologize now if anyone is saddened by this...

Dis: Kishi-Kun is evil, and has lots of money because of his very successful anime/manga 'Naruto', while i am a poor begger simply pointing out small oddities in that verse that appearently i'm the only one to notice...

on with the experiment!!

* * *

Today's subject: Hyuuga Hinata (Abstract)

Everything was calm in the Hyuuga manor, the gardens well tended, the rock garden was racked, the Koi were fed and the pond maintained, why one could even see their reflection in the well liquored hard-wood floors if they bothered to look down. Yes, everything was good and 'normal', or at least that's what the branch family thought as they went about their jobs of keeping the place tidy. In fact, if someone pulled one of them aside and asked about their lord, they'd probably just give you a blank look, say he's normal and swiftly Jyuuken you out of the premises for trespassing. For yes, their dear lord Hiashi was doing his 'normal' routine of meditating out on one of the external hallways. It's a sad thing indeed, that those with the mighty 'all-seeing eyes' could be so blind at times, that or Hiashi actually was a magnificent actor.

-_A Thong?! A Thong?! SHE HAS A THONG?!_-

Yes, our dear lord was far from 'normal' this particular morning, too bad his external persona was so well kept it could maintain itself while his internal thought process was running havoc in his normally 'sane' mind.

-_WHY THE HELL DOES MY ELDEST DAUGHTER HAVE A THONG?!_-

At this point his internal personification of his 'real' thoughts was screaming and barking at the Kami for a freakin' answer to this rather… 'unusual' new information.

(For those of you who've been ignoring the previous reports on this bizarre strain of white-eyed _Homo sapiens_, I'd suggest reviewing the previous report, where the main subject's younger progeny presented him with unusual undergarments apparently found in his elder female progeny's den. Let's continue observation.)

-_Kami?! This is some sick joke, correct? I mean it doesn't make sense… why would Hinata, my well, upstanding, and far more dignified daughter, have such a thing… and my wife can't have had a hand in this, she died before the girl knew what 'lingerie' was!!_-

Mental Hiashi was fuming, pacing his proverbial cage as his mind began to calm down enough to start rationalizing things. There was a pause in his mindscape-self's pacing, as if waiting for some kind of response, although even in his delusional and questionably 'sane' mind that didn't happen. On the outside, he was still in his stoic meditation, very oblivious to the cool breeze that passed him by.

-_Alright, alright, think Hiashi… just breath and think_-

To accentuate this notion he took a deep calming breath.

-_Alright, now, let's try to reason why Hinata would have such a thing…_-

There was a mental eyebrow twitch as a certain woman came to mind.

-_It has to be that damn woman!! I knew letting her train my daughter would have been a mistake, Damnit!! Why was I so stupid!!_-

Internal Hiashi promptly smacked his hand to his face. Yes, he and the Yuuhi woman certainly didn't get along, and contrary to popular belief it, originally, had nothing to do with how he treated his eldest daughter when she was younger. No, instead it had more to do with the _True_ reason she was called the 'Mistress of Genjutsu', or at least in Hiashi's opinion anyway, and the simple fact that Hiashi was perhaps the only person to figure it out, in no small thanks to his 'secret technique'.

-_That damn nudist!! Why did I let her take and infect my precious daughter with her bizarre perverted ideas!!_-

Amidst the Hyuuga patriarch's musings and unusual spark of sanity slipped in. His internal self narrowed his eyes as the thought (rationalization) came to mind.

-_Wait, if it was up to that woman, my daughter would be going commando, and wearing nothing but a Genjutsu like her… and last I checked my daughter had actual cloths… then again that was a long while ago…_-

Again, doubt sets in. he shook his figment of a mental head, while being still as stone on the outside.

-_No, my daughter does have clothes, else Hanabi would not have found… That thing, amongst them… hmm, no, I suppose I can't really blame that Yuuhi woman this time… thought it does bring many other questions to mind…_-

He set his mental visage into a musing state. Yes, he needed to think some more on the matter, though the more he thought, the more revelations about his estranged eldest daughter seemed to pop into his mind.

-_Hmm, she does spend an awful lot of time with the Hokage…_-

Internal Hiashi shook his head fervently; he seriously didn't want to think of the wrinkled old lady underneath the Genjutsu with the granny-panties.

-_No, I doubt Tsunade-sama would corrupt my daughter in anyway, though she is a bit of a sadist and enjoys messing with peoples' minds… case in point: her Genjutsu_-

He shook his head again, no the Godaime wouldn't have anything to do with this 'predicament'. No, there had to be someone else.

-_Well there are her friends, especially that Yamanaka, and they seem to start at a young age trying out 'unusual' undergarments… and seem disturbingly obsessed with letting others know…._-

Hiashi's mind cringed at the flashbacks of when he was younger and was teamed up the younger version of Inoichi. He was in full-blown spasms as he remembered what that man used to wear… and probably still did.

-_I don't care how proud you are, I never, EVER, want to see what that man wears under his cloths again… I don't care if camo is in style; men shouldn't wear such things… and gods only know what he's passed on to his daughter… for some reason lacey, neon colors, and semi-transparent comes to mind_-

Mental Hiashi mused, scratching his bare mental chin, deciding that the next time he saw the girl he'd have to confirm his suspicions, otherwise his talents of telling a person's personality by their underwear was degrading horribly over time.

-_Hmm, I know that would be considered rather perverted, but for the sake of keeping my ability in check I'd have to do it… ugh, even if I really don't care to_-

He shook his head; the truth of the matter was most Hyuuga's got bored of underwear really quickly. With telescopic vision that can see through EVERYTHING, it was no wonder why they were bored with peeping by the time they reached puberty. And it was generally held that the reason Hyuuga's wore robes that covered most everything was because to them that was 'exotic' and 'sexy', cause honestly they'd already seen everything underneath.

-_I wonder if Hinata ever got around to that stage, I know Neji has since he spies on that girl, what's-her-name, all the time, and even Hanabi is starting to experiment with how much her eyes can see…_-

Hiashi came to the bizarre epiphany that his 'children' were unusually stunted in their normal development.

-_Or maybe Hizashi and I were unusually advanced at our age??_-

He shook his mental head for the umpteenth time this day, he was trying to stay on target about his eldest daughter but it seemed no matter what something else seemed to wonder into his mind. An odd thought came to his mind rather abruptly.

-_I don't even know what underwear my eldest daughter wears?!_-

Hiashi seemed to dig his heels into the mental breaks and hit a rather ominous mental brick wall. Too bad he was a tick too late and still managed to run headfirst into it. He picked his mental form up off the mental floor, which on inane observation was completely clear, or simply lacking any kind of form beyond black abyss, and scratched his head. He quickly ran through his most prominent memories of his eldest daughter, and came to the shocking realization that he didn't really have anything outstanding after she was five.

-_I don't know my daughter at all…_-

A bell seemed to ding in the background of his mind as if he'd just discovered the meaning of the universe.

-_I should probably stop trying to pin this on someone else, perhaps it's my fault my daughter has strayed from the 'decent' path… I shouldn't have left her…­_-

(Insert eerie moment of clarity)

He was quiet a moment, or as quiet as a mental conscience gets, before the main topic at hand broke his sudden, and probably recurrent, epiphany.

-_But that still doesn't explain why SHE HAS A __**THONG?!**_-

While his internal mind was grumbling about not really getting anywhere about his eldest daughter, again, his external self absentmindedly reached out and grabbed the tea cup sitting next to him. He was blissfully, or as blissful as Hyuuga Hiashi gets, sipping his tea, warm green tea by the way, before his mental functions, what was left of them, scraped enough sense together to realize what his auto-pilot body was doing.

-_There was no tea when I sat down??_-

He quickly took over the process of 'living' again, making the seamless transference of his mind back into control of his body as flawless as ever, and not even spilling his tea. To anyone watching it would have seemed that Hyuuga Hiashi was simply 'waking up' from meditating, opening his stern eyes as if there was naught a problem on his mind. He looked at his tea again, smelling its delightful scent and indulging in another sip.

-_This is the tea Hinata usually makes; it always seems the most relaxing when she makes it_-

A grin spread across his internal face, and actually translated to a light look of contentment on his external features. Still far from a smile, but certainly something just about anybody would be surprised to see on the Hyuuga patriarch.

-_I wonder when she left this here for me, I must have been so caught up in my thoughts I didn't even notice_-

There was a slight pang of disappointment in the Hyuuga lord, he had intended to talk with his eldest daughter about… recent events, and when he had the chance, she seemed to slip by him without his even noticing.

-_Some observant being I am… I can't even sense my own daughter a hairs breadth from me_-

He set the cup or tea down on the tray it had been apparently presented on. His white eyes caught a slip of paper on the tray, expecting it to be from his estranged daughter he picked it up and began reading it.

"_Dear father,_

_I apologize I won't be able to speak with you this morning as you had requested, a mission came up that my team is required for, and it was best I leave as soon as I could. I had wanted to talk with you before I left, but when I found you, you seemed deep in meditation so I did not want to disturb you. I hope you like the tea, I hope it does not get too cold by the time you try it. I will be back in two to three weeks time, I will speak with you then to make up for this, I promise._

_Your daughter,_

_Hinata_

_P.S. Hanabi has been acting strangely, she seems oddly subdued as of late, I think you should speak to her, she might be having a problem with something…"_

A small prickling feeling came to the side of Hiashi's mouth, as if for some odd reason it was trying to rise in a small smile. Yes, Hiashi was actually smiling, if only so small, and without his even noticing. His internal self was smirking.

-_I know exactly what Hanabi's problem is, she probably figured out what she found in your room…_-

The internal visage of the Hyuuga lord was smirking contently, yes he had failed to confront his eldest daughter about what her sister had found, yes he had failed to pin down who had corrupted his daughter, and yes he had failed to acknowledge completely he may be to blame. But looking at the note again, for some reason he was oddly content with not caring at the moment. He took another sip of the tea his daughter made.

-_Hinata…_-

His daughter was kind, and his daughter was caring, and she was a selfless person who worried about those around her, even if they seemed to ignore her. Hiashi sighed externally in contentment; he at least knew enough about his eldest daughter to know that in some small recess of his mind, in that part that pretty much could give a damn less about the clan, and prestige, and the whole ninja world and his place in it, he cared and loved his kind daughter.

-_I just wish I knew more about her…_-

His internal self made up its mind, yes, he, Hyuuga Hiashi was, for once in her life, try and figure out the mystery that was his eldest daughter, Hyuuga Hinata.

-_Starting as soon as I'm done with this tea…_-

He took another sip of her magnificent tea.

* * *

A/N: for those who don't know, an 'Anthropological Study' is basically when an Anthropologist, a person who has majored in college and spent YEARS of their life learning to study humans, decides they will pick out a particular specimen of humans and study every aspect of their existence, from Culture to habits to physiological and psychological and sociological developments... its basically like someone taking a trip to germany and study people's drinking habits there... so in a sense the title here is a bit of a joke in and of itself, since the one studying, and being studied, is Hiashi himself... and i basically plan on having him go through just about everyone in the show/manga i can think of and basically pointing out things that are oddities about them (and i find to be rather obvious possibilities), such as Kurenai's preferences on clothing and the Yamanaka's bizare habits at being 'the center of attention', which i've mentioned here...

i love making fun of Kurenai being the true 'Mistress of Genjutsu', and tormenting Hiashi to no end...

and i'm working on ANBU as of current, Hyuuga's are just so hard to work with sometimes...

review to my madness, and give me ideas...

till next -Salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!!

-Ikasury


	5. ZOMBIES!

A/N: instead of finishing the half-way written chappy i had planned, or completely the next chapter of ANBU, since Yoko and Kanna decided to work with me for about five seconds, no i come out with this after watching the newest ep. of Shippuuden, cause the whole time my brother and i were wondering - WHERE THE HELL ARE THE HYUUGA AND ABURAME!! -

so here you go, my thoughts on this whole zombie-invasion-filler-thingy going on...

Dis: zombies in my brain... all i have is a concept to keep them at bay, Kishi has the anime that spawned them, now they won't leave me alone o.O

enjoy...

* * *

Today's subject: Random file uncovered (stolen) from the desk of one: Hyuuga Hiashi

Date: (sadly too illegible to read properly, but long before all the previous events)

Event: The Zombie invasion of Konoha (AKA around Episode 66 of Shippuuden)

Reader's notes: (written in badly scrawled and barely legible writing)

_OMG!! THIS IS WHAT THE HYUUGA WERE DOING!! O.O!!_

Translator's notes: (you can tell this person just _loooves_ their job…)

_The following is the testimony or 'reenactment' of the events during the… _ (Reads 'official' report) '_Zombie invasion of Konoha'_ (it is best noted that scrawled below, in barely big enough to read and apparently tried to be scratched out: _are they really that stupid to call it 'The Zombie Invasion?'_) _and this document is the events around the residence of the 'Hyuuga Clan', and a general explanation as to why they weren't at the main gate!!_ (Yes, this person just loooved their job…)

Testimony:

(Switch into 'normal' format)

-_For some reason I get the feeling something is very off today…_-

The great lord of the Hyuuga manor was walking at a brisk pace through his home. Yes, something was definitely off, for starters there was an enormous thunder cloud that had been looming over Konoha for Kami knew how long. Second, the sky, while dark from the storm, looked like there was some kind of bubble between Konoha and it. Then throw in the fact that a majority of the village was being evacuated and there were large _**BOOMS!!**_ And crashes, followed by screaming, near the main gate, and yes this was indeed an unusual day.

-_For Kami's sake what the hell are those people doing?!_-

Thought the now becoming slowly pissed off head of the Hyuuga house, as he felt a large presence begin to come closer and closer to his house and slowly spread throughout his home village; to say Hyuuga Hiashi was a happy camper was like saying Orochimaru wasn't creepy and Tsunade was the luckiest woman alive. Then again the stone and immovable look on the Hyuuga patriarch's face was _REALLY_ hard to decipher, even if you were a Hyuuga and lived your whole live with this guy.

A Hyuuga captain of the guard gulped as he moved towards his lord, fear only showing on the fringes of this battle-hardened man's eyes, and coming from him that was saying something about his lord, "Hiashi-sama!!"

-_What the hell is it now?!_-

Said man merely stopped in his trek to see what the hell was going on outside his home. He didn't even turn to acknowledge the branch Captain that quickly kneeled behind his lord.

"Hiashi-sama," the man's voice more subdued, though he was currently fearing for his life, and not from the invading forces, "We have confirmation of a malignant force that has invaded Konoha and proceeding push our forces back…"

­-_No duh!?_-

There was a barely, and I mean _BARELY_ audible growl, and the captain feared its meaning. The lord of the Hyuuga folded his arms and continued his brisk pace, "I am well aware of the invading forces, _Captain_," stressing this with a slight twinge of killer intent almost had said _Captain_ pissing his pants, "all one has to do is look at the sky!" the Captain was now slinking, half-groveling half-cowering in fear, behind the man as he continued his pace towards the door.

"I'm sorry for my incompetence, Lord Hiashi!!" the captain was on the ground again, and Hiashi sure as hell didn't have time for this crap.

-_You sure as hell better be!! Wasting my freakin' time stating the obvious in a situation like this… I'm surrounded by FUCKING MORONS!!_-

The great and mighty patriarch of the Hyuuga didn't even bother to acknowledge the imbecile of a Captain. He quickly made his way to his destination, reached out to the sliding door, and with the flick of his wrist sent the thing hurtling open with a loud _**SNAP!!**_ as he stepped through with his Byakuugan flaring. Hyuuga Hiashi was pissed.

"Alright, what the HELL IS GOING **ON HERE!!**" instead of keeping this thought in his head, he simply screamed it out at the assembled guards standing before him as if they had no idea what was going on. But the effect was instant, every single one of this cringed at the opening of the door, and now were downright shaking in place as they heard their great lord shouting, the few who had dared to look at the man were crying on the floor in pathetic heaps. Yes, Hyuuga Hiashi had that kind of effect on people when he was downright pissed.

Several moments passed in complete utter, agonizing silence, the kind that made your ears want to bleed, your eyes explode from their sockets, and generally you just would rather go through hell then say anything, cause you know it's going to kill you anyway…

"Our deepest apologies Lord Hiashi!!" one guard had managed the summon the courage to speak out, she was a Branch member about the age of 23, she had long rustic black hair tied back in a braid, she was about 5' 5", weighted around 125lbs, and was perhaps the bravest amongst them all. She was firmly placed between the other branch members and the one man that could easily kill them with a single seal, and she was bowing right in front of him, "We were merely awaiting your orders on how to handle this situation," and she was smart as hell BS-ing on her feet and the others thought she was going to die right there for practically blaming Hiashi for them not doing anything… oh she was good.

-_She's good…_-

The Hyuuga patriarch eyes narrowed slightly, and the rest took a good step backward, expecting any moment for their former comrade's head to suddenly explode. (_That's not what really happens when the seal is activated, they've just never seen it and have let their imaginations run wild!! _: Translator's note)

Again that silence set in, only this time the great Hyuuga lord had a look of consideration, instead of threatening to kill them all.

"Very well," He opened his eyes and watched as they all literally jumped a foot in the air at his once again normal stoic voice. One person had managed to actually jump into his comrade's arms, too bad he was about 200lbs of muscle, and she was about 114lb and relatively small, resulting in an alarming crash no one seemed to notice. Hiashi cracked his neck, "I want all of you placed at your duty stations, I want a perfect perimeter placed around the mansion and I don't want a single enemy to set foot on this property, do I make myself clear?"

"YES SIR!!" shouted all the guardsmen in unison.

"But Hiashi-sama," it was that woman again, and all the others cringed as a strange look come over the lord's eyes, it simply spelled 'DOOM!!' to the rest of them, sadly she continued, "What about the rest of Konoha? Aren't we supposed to help them?"

The silence was back, and they all feared for their lives…

-_Well, I suppose she does have a point… but I don't really care at this point…_-

The Hyuuga lord placed his hand in his sleeves; crossed over his chest, "What is your job?" his voice as calm and cool as a rock.

"Sir?" was her rather intelligent response; everyone else was on pins and needles.

"What is your job?" repeated the Hyuuga lord, starting to wonder about the competence of his family's gene-pool.

"I am a guard for the Hyuuga house," she said plainly, honestly not getting what her lord was getting at.

"That's right, a GUARD for the HYUUGA house…" despite his stony voice some of them swore there was sarcasm there, but for Hyuuga Hiashi to use sarcasm… it was just unheard of? He continued to as he stared at the rest of them huddled in a corner of the yard, "All of you are to protect THIS house, the Ninja can protect this village," he said almost as an afterthought before turning and walking back towards the door.

"But aren't you-" the confident girl was quickly dog-pilled by her comrades, ALL of them, before her curious mind got another dangerous question out. The others were happy to have their lives, hell she was lucky to STILL be alive, and they didn't want to press the delicate balance called 'DON'T PISS OFF HYUUGA HIASHI!!' any more than it already had been that day, thankfully without any casualties, that is unless you count those two dazed on the floor whom everyone just kind of ignored.

Said lord quickly closed the door behind him; confident they'd get to their posts and do as he ordered. The inside of his mind was endlessly snickering at his family's stupidity some times, as he quickly made his way to the roof of his house, intent on at least having a good seat to the events to come.

Ten minutes later had Hiashi climbing up a latter and pushing a trapdoor open as he got a magnificent view of the village he lived in, currently being held under a giant bubble with random electricity flowing all over the place.

-_And they wonder why we never wanted to live in Kumo…_-

His eyes winced at the bright display of blinding, lightning charged chakra, as it practically burned away a whole layer of chakra sensitive cells lining his eyeballs.

-_Kami!! MY RETINAS!!_-

It took great effort on his part to NOT rub his stinging eyes, as he occupied his time by closing the trapdoor and walking to the edge of his roof closest to his front gate. Without looking he could sense all his guards in place, silently watching and waiting for the enemy to approach.

-_About damn time they started doing their freakin' jobs… the bums should be happy I haven't kicked them out yet…_ -

He stood tall, proud, smug on his roof with his constant stone-like expression as he looked out towards the main gates, where all the real action was. As if an afterthought to the whole situation he started to wonder where his kids were.

-_Their Ninja, they're probably helping at the gate… yea, that's where they are…_-

He didn't know if it was him, or the wind, but he could have sworn he heard a rather loud sneeze coming from somewhere off in the distance, and he wasn't quite sure which way it was coming from.

-_Now, where are you, where is the enemy?_-

He looked far out, stretching his normal eyes sight as he watched for any form of movement.

About half an hour later…

A blue figure popped out behind one of the buildings before the Hyuuga manor.

-_Well that's strange…_-

Then another appeared, and another, and another, and another, and another, and so on and on and on until there was a miniature army of weird, slow walking, 'blue?' people with obviously poor motor skills and a foul reek following them as they approached the pristine Hyuuga estate.

He could have sworn he heard a scream of "OH FUCK ITS ZOMBIES!!" from one of his guard towers but he wasn't really sure, his attention was pre-occupied on the pile of weird blue people that were pressing on his gate, which for some godforsaken reason decided at that very freakin' moment to crumble to dust under the weight of undead pressing forward.

-_WHAT THE FUCK?! That walls held up against freakin' everything, EVERY-FUCKING-THING!! Including the Kyuubi-attack, Kumo attacks, Iwa Attacks during the war, bombs, sharp metal objects, THE SUNA-OTO INVASION!! And it crumbles under the weight of fucking ZOMBIES!!_-

This whole train of thought was voiced as this:

"GET YOUR DISGUSTING FEET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN DIRTY ZOMBIES!!"

And with the roar of their fearsome, and utterly horrifying leader, lord, AND MASTER!! All the Hyuuga guards lined up in a single file line across the field making a wall between their home and the invading zombie hoard, with the spunky girl with the rustic black hair right in the middle, directly below lord Hiashi.

Then the unthinkable happened, all of them, in one fluid motion took the same stance, a very specific stance, one with one hand held back and the other forward in a straight line towards the zombies, a stance that according to anyone who _wasn't_ a Hyuuga was only taught to the 'main' family. People can be so stupid some times.

Then almost as if in a single voice, nearly a hundred Hyuuga Branch members, loyal guards to their home and the main family, yelled out:

"YOU ARE IN OUR FIELD OF DIVINATION!!" they all leaned forward slightly preparing the strike, "_HAKKE ROKUJUUYON SHO!! EIGHT TRIGRAMS SIXTY-FOUR PALM STRIKE!!_"

Then in the flash of light, a flicker of a moment, an infinitesimally small amount of time, all the Hyuuga on the ground charged forward completely dominating the Zombie invaders and turning them completely into dust.

-_Well, that was unexpected…_-

Thought Hiashi, as externally he appeared to have expected such a thing, yea right.

"Fascinating…" came a deep calm voice from Hiashi's left.

"The choreography or the fact that they actually just did that?" came a growled voice from his right.

"Both…" came from the left, as the tall, well covered man adjusted his black glasses, jingling the jeweled bell attached to the side of them. Aburame Shibi nodded his head to his former teammate.

"Hiashi, dude, seriously that was brutal," came the growling voice of the shaggy haired woman to his right, as she stood up with an insanely wide fanged canine-like grin, and a camcorder in her right hand, "AND I can't BELIEVE I got that on tape!!" followed by a bark of a laugh as Inuzuka Tsume laughed at her once-teammate.

An almost invisible twitch came to the Hyuuga lord's brow, not that anyone would notice it, except for his former teammates.

-_How the hell did they…_-

"Aww, come on Hiashi-kun," Tsume's voice was disturbingly sweet, especially coming from her as she latched her arm over Hiashi's shoulder and practically strangling him around the neck, he was suddenly having flashbacks of his Genin days. The horror.

"Don't you two have something you're supposed to be doing?" his voice was cool as a cucumber, but his teammates knew better.

"Like fetching your lazy ass and helping at the main gate?" Tsume 'suggested' none to subtly, she grinned at him, fangs showing, "Nope, nothing important at all, after all since it IS the younger ninja's jobs to do _THAT_, not us clan head, nope, na-uh, no way…"

"Or helping out your own people fight off this pestilent hoard," came that deep condescending voice of Shibi, as he again adjusted his glasses. That got Hiashi's attention.

-_Uh-uh, no way am I getting Aburame-served, NOT THIS TIME!!_-

There was a brief moment as the two just glared at each other, white eyes to black pimp-shades, with Tsume wishing she'd brought popcorn as she still hung off of Hiashi's shoulder.

Hiashi cleared his throat, "I believe the two of you should be helping at your own homes, making sure the 'invaders' don't do anything to your own property, especially…" pause for evil maniacal effect as he looked Shibi in the 'eye', "the Hives," the shades wearing man visibly shook as an evil glint entered the man's white eyes as they turned to his 'hanger-on', "Or the squeaky toy shack…"

Tsume's eyes immediately shrunk at the implication, "Not the squeaky toys, without them…" a mental image of all the chewed up furniture she'd have to replace came to mind. She was in too much shock to notice the white-eyed man slip out of her reach.

He walked a few feet away before an idea came to mind, he turned on his former teammates "oh and…" with his absolute smug-look in place he raised his right hand to about eye level. The two other clan heads just watched, waiting for something insane to happen, and they practically jumped when he snapped his fingers.

There was a moment of silence before a large shout reached them from the assembled branch guards below, who had apparently dealt with all the zombies, for now. What they said was this:

"SHUT UP SHIBI!!"

The two non-Hyuugas looked from the assembled crowd, to the man who'd apparently orchestrated it, only to find something that would haunt them for the rest of their days, Hyuuga Hiashi giving the greatest 1up smile in existence, before he quickly turned heel and went back down the trapdoor and off his roof.

"Ya know Shibi-kun," Tsume said as she ran a finger along one of her tattoos.

"Yes, Tsume-chan," Shibi said, with his arms in his pockets staring blankly at nothing through his black shades.

"I think we just got Hyuuga-served…" Tsume finished before looking up at her friend.

"I believe we just did," Shibi responded with a nod, adjusting his glasses, and as little emotion as a flea.

The two shared a look, before Tsume cracked her biggest smile and started howling with laughter, while Shibi merely grinned.

"GET OFF MY ROOF BEFORE I SICK THE ZOMBIES ON YOU!!" came a rather irritated shout through the trapdoor, only causing the two laugh, harder in Tsume's case, as they jumped away to check on their own homes for zombie infestation.

--End of Report--

Final Translator's notes:

_God these people are insane…_

Final Reader's notes:

_OH MAH GAWD!! XD_

Dated, signed, and sealed away back in Hiashi's desk…

* * *

A/N: absolute crack... and i'm making assumptions about Shibi and Tsume and Hiashi all being former teammates... though i would find it hilariously funny...

review?

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!!

-Ikasury


	6. Hinata II

A/N: what no one likes zombies? -.-

anywho, here's the chappy i had 'intended' to place last, aside from the random inspiration of zombies, and a slight case of writer's block brought on by some of the most messed up family issues in the world...

minor note i tought was funny: GeEKy-nERd i think you and i have the same problem with staying up WAAAAAY past our bedtimes reading XP i love being a bibliophile, even if it does cut into my writing, though i think that's more my weird situation then my reading habits...

but i hope all those who enjoy my 'odd' crack, though its not really 'crack' is it since is somewhat coherent, continue enjoying my twisted sense of humor...

Dis: i wish i owned Hiashi, i would just torment this guy like the evil little demon i am, sadly he and all his universe is owned by this rich asian guy i call 'Kishi-kun' -.- i want money...

* * *

Today's Subject: Hyuuga Hinata (Lair)

-_It is said that the best way to get to know someone is spend time talking with that person about their interests…_-

Hyuuga Hiashi walked calmly along the barren halls of his prestigious clan home, completely ignoring the familiar white screen walls as he walked along the smooth, shiny, lacquered floors towards his destination.

-_When that fails, or succeeds with little success on information, then observation may be required…_-

He ignored the scurrying branch family members as they attended to their duties, every single one of them bowing deeply as their lord (and master!!) walked by at his normal brisk pace. It didn't seem odd to any of them that he was walking around with his eyes closed, he WAS a powerful and well trained ninja, and this being his home, it only made sense he could walk through it with his eyes closed, completely ignoring the fact that he has the Byakuugan.

-_And if that fails…_-

He came to a stop in front of a specific 'wall', making it seem as if he was simply stopping to consider where he was going. Taking a moment to check his surroundings with his glorious eyes, and finding the coast clear, his hand set forth, grabbing a wooden edge on the screen and flicking it to the side causing the 'wall' to open revealing it to have actually been a 'door'.

-_Discreetly enter their dwelling while they aren't home and take in 'observations' of all items held within…_-

The ever stern and prestigious clan head, one to _never_ do anything 'wrong'; such as 'spying' and 'breaking and entering', took a confident, and well measured step into the 'forbidden' and 'mysterious' domain of his eldest daughter.

-_Holy crap that was too freakin' easy!!_-

Then internal (and obviously demented) version of the Hyuuga patriarch was giggling and jumping up and down like a 3 year old on a sugar-high. Yes, because trespassing in his eldest daughter's room was actually perhaps the most 'interesting' thing he'd done in _years_, but that's certainly not saying anything, nope, not at all.

-_Now, oh forbidden room, tell me your tales of my daughter!!_-

Inner-Hiashi was giving a dramatic point towards the room, and of course it didn't respond back to him. Crickets in his mental domain started chirping.

-_Perhaps looking around will provide more information about Hinata…_-

As if to respond to insa- I mean 'inner' Hiashi, the 'real' (external) Hiashi took another step inside the room now taking in his eldest daughter's domain. It was a plain room, like every other room in the mansion, and he was sure that if anyone else entered they'd be surprised that a young woman lived it this room… or anyone period. The walls were white, like everywhere else in the mansion, on one wall was a pair of sliding doors to a small closet, which he opened to reveal that his daughter did indeed have clothing, since her shirts and jackets were hanging their right in front of him.

-_Oh thank you sweet Kami-sama, at least I know she's wearing a top…_-

He looked around the closet, noting the large stack of scrolls on one end and spare packs and weapons on the other, with spare shoes on the floor in-between.

-_I don't remember ever getting any of this… she must do fairly well in missions to have this much extra supplies, or the money to pay for all this…_-

Inner Hiashi started musing, while he externally closed the doors softly.

-_Unless she's stealing them…_-

The idea made him pause a moment in his movements. His daughter, Hinata, renowned around the village as the quietest person, period, was actually a master thief, ripping them all off so she could pawn all their stuff off so she'd could have fat stacks to pay for her taxing career as a konoichi!!

-_…_-

Again the crickets…

-_Naa… that's impossible and somewhat improbable_-

He shook his mental head, finally closing the closet doors completely.

3… 2… 1…

He slammed the doors back open and pushed Hinata's hanging garments out of the way and began trailing his hands along the closet's back wall.

-_Okay, where are the false walls where she hides her secret stash of priceless gems that she's saving in case she has to buy her way out of the country should anyone ever find out she's really the world's greatest thief!!_-

Yes, Hiashi's internal mind has an unusual means of jumping to rampant and unorthodox conclusions. But then again, he _WAS_ right about Kurenai… his eyes narrowed the slightest bit, even on the outside.

-_Damn nudist…­_-

As if his thoughts finally caught up to him, or his 'normal' façade finally slapped some sense in to his rather degrading mind, he stopped searching for 'hidden secret stashes' in the back of his eldest daughter's closet, pulled himself up, put everything back where it was when he found it, closed the doors behind him and straightened up his appearance. It wasn't very un-Hyuuga-like to act in such a manner after all.

-_That was slightly strange…_-

He stood up straight, completely ignoring what just happened, standing with his hands together under his kimono sleeves, with his stern look well in place, giving him the appearance of regal lord he was. Yes, it'd look picturesque, if he was in the receiving room and not in his daughter's bedroom.

-_What else is in here that can tell me something about my daughter, she obviously must be doing well as a Konoichi, and I'll leave it at that…_-

His infamous white-eyes scanned the room again, again reminding him of the plain room it was. His eyes quickly found her bed on a wall adjacent to the closet; a futon neatly made to the point where he wondered if anyone really slept in it. Quickly averting his eyes before his rampant imagination could take that thought too far, his grand eyes found the small nightstand next to the bed, more notably the picture of her team when they were first formed; with the male Inuzuka crouched down with a wide canine-grin and his dog on his head, while the Aburame and Hinata stood behind him, the Aburame emotionless while Hinata looked rather nervous though with a small smile, and their sensei Kurenai smiling gently with her hands on Hinata and the Aburame's shoulder. It was rather picturesque and reminded the great Hyuuga lord how much different his daughter was now from back them.

-_No, I suppose in some ways she hasn't really changed at all…_-

His white eyes lingered on his daughter's face on the picture, obviously nervous but still smiling, if only slightly, while the two boys were simply themselves. His eyes lingered on the red-eyed woman a moment, the pride in her eyes at her team actually stirring something in the stoic man.

-_Hmm… I suppose you didn't totally destroy my daughter Yuuhi, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to leave her in your care after all…_-

His eyes wondered to a small book sitting below the picture and curiosity certainly got the better of the elder Hyuuga as his hand immediately reached out to pick it up and flip it open.

-_A photo album?_-

The first few were pictures of his daughter's earlier years with her team, it seemed the three of them would pass around a camera and take random pictures of the goings on of the team. As he continued looking through the pictures some started to include the other members of their graduating class, including their sensei at times. It seemed the first half of the book was of random events during their first year and a half as Genin. Hiashi noted that when Hinata wasn't the one taking the picture they seemed more on embarrassing her, with random events that looked like they could easily be taken out of context and the younger version of his eldest daughter more often than not with her face as red as a tomato.

-_It looks like those boys had more fun than she did taking these pictures_-

What was perhaps the most ironic was that the Aburame seemed to catch most of the embarrassing moments, since his absence in the pictures were somewhat obvious. A lot of the 'offending' pictures were of the Inuzuka boy doing something stupid, but more often than not that orange clad-kid was there as well, and in every one of those it looked like his daughter was moments away from fainting. He mentally snickered.

-_Hehe, put a fox and a dog together in the same room and they certainly caused havoc, with Hinata in the middle… that Aburame boy was very good at taking these pictures… They're hilarious!!_-

One picture from the Genin days caught his attention when he flipped to it. From the context he could tell the Aburame had taken it, again, since the Inuzuka was off to the side with a playful grin and his hand raised with his index finger to his mouth basically saying 'be quiet'. What caught the great Lord Hiashi's attention most about this picture was the main contents of it, in the center of the photograph was a very large tree, at the base of the tree was that annoying blonde Kyuubi-kid looking to be asleep and being perfectly content, slightly ruffed up, but content, in his arms was Hiashi's eldest daughter without her trademark jacket at the time, she too looking worst for wear, but the small smile on her face making it seem like she was perfectly content as well, sleeping in the fox boy's lap.

-…-

To say Hyuuga Hiashi's mind was completely speechless was an understatement. This wasn't as bad as the whole 'thong' incident, but still rather mind-boggling to the middle-aged man. But perhaps the thing that freaked him out most was just how 'cute' the picture was; ignoring all content, he just couldn't say it wasn't the epitome of freakin' adorable.

-_That damn Aburame is good with a camera… and I'll leave it at that… no need to be jumping to conclusions because of a picture taken several YEARS ago… nope, none at all_-

Quickly flipping past that distinct picture, he found that after awhile the pictures seemed to dry up or Hinata just didn't keep many after awhile. The only ones that seemed to show up were 'important' pictures like when someone became Chuunin, and in Neji's case when he became Jounin. While this was strange he decided to ignore the strange 'gap' of time as the next larger flow of pictures seemed to come from about three years after the Genin pictures. Again the strange absurdness of the pictures returned, and more embarrassing pictures of his daughter, courtesy of her teammates, with her friends, sensei, and odd events, most including cameos of that Kyuubi-kid. Which he noted were still perhaps the 'most' embarrassing for his daughter.

-_Maybe there's something to that… her teammates seem to like snapping pictures of her and him together in rather 'hilarious' and 'adorable' moments… should I be worried?_-

These pictures seemed to extend from the time that orange-clad kid came back, all the way to more current times. That last few looked like they came from a party they all attended along with several other ninja they knew; like the Hokage and her assistant, their sensei, and several people he knew were ANBU, some Suna Nin, event the Kazekage, and even some kids a few years younger than them. All of them pretty much being 'normal' people and being stupid at some party he didn't remember ever hearing about.

-_I wonder when that was, it looks relatively recent…_-

The last picture seemed to be a group photo of everyone who was there and for the life of him Hiashi was amazed that the photographer managed to get all these 'eccentric' ninja to stand still, or close enough, for the five seconds it took to take the picture. It was truly a feat worthy of legend! Though, it was anything but a conventional 'group picture', instead it was more of a 'everyone in action' picture… like how that Nara kid had some blonde Suna Konoichi hanging off him on one side and a rather irate Kazekage on the other, while his former teammate, the Yamanaka girl, was sitting on the Akamichi's shoulders, seemingly cheering at the camera, with what looked like a bottle of vodka in her hand, and behind them Hiashi swore he saw his nephew, with an oddly red face, with that panda girl grinning like a mad dog next to him, while the spandex kid looked to be going off on some rant or other, probably about youth. In one corner of the photo was the Godaime, with a noticeable rosy tint to her face, either from booze or rage, as she was holding the masked copycat ninja in a strangle hold, with her assistant oddly just blowing off the whole thing, and he wasn't sure, or was having a hard time believing it, but it looked like next to the Med-Nin were the two heads of the Torture and Interrogation squad _Giggling_ at their fellow jounin's misfortune. In the far back corner was a group of ANBU, who had somehow known the photo was being taken because they had raised their masks to conveniently hide their faces, one was flipping off the camera, while another looked about to deck the Inuzuka boy who was obviously hitting on 'her' (we'll just assume this) as another, noticeably wearing a black short cut shirt showing 'their' white stomach had what looked to be a brush in 'their' hand and was seemingly writing on the brash Inuzuka's back, and the last looked to be laughing, but with the conveniently placed mask it was hard to tell. Plus various other Ninja doing god-knows-what, he couldn't really tell though most were just laughing at the others. And smack dab in the center of all the chaos, was his eldest daughter, placed in the center of a group consisting of that pink-haired girl with an orange-haired girl, who looked younger, on one side, and the Kyuubi boy with two brown haired boys behind him, seemingly having an argument between them with his poor daughter in-between. The pink-haired girl had her fist back about to hit the blonde boy when the picture was taken, with him giving a stupid cocky grin directed towards his daughter AND had his arm around her shoulder, while she looked about five seconds away from fainting from blood loss if the sheer intensity of red on her face was any indication.

Hiashi's mind's first response was to giggle. The picture was a masterful artwork of the oddities and intricacies of the group within it, and he could only guess it was once again the Aburame boy who had taken it, unless he was one of the ANBU or was really good hiding in crowds, he didn't know. The second response, and the more expected, was his left eye twitching.

-_'Its' __**touching**__ my daughter…_-

(Yes this was a weird response, especially since there was an earlier picture of them practically snuggling, but Hiashi isn't exactly know for his 'reason' now is he?)

After examining the picture again, simmering for a bit, and that amazing Hyuuga-logic making itself known again, he closed the album and put it back where he found it. That stony façade on his face never once cracking, well so we think.

-_It's probably nothing… then again that's probably why that pink-haired girl, what's-her-name, was a second away from decking him…_-

A smirk appeared on his mental face as his eyes left the dubious album bent on finding something else to occupy his time. They landed on the chested-drawers on the other side of the room.

-_Hmm…_-

And here we come to a moral dilemma.

-_I _could _take this opportunity to 'look'… of course even I find that a somewhat _strange_ idea, even if it would be perhaps the easiest and most informative way of determining my eldest daughter's personality…_-

So, validating his course of action mentally, Hyuuga Hiashi sent forth the chakra required into his eyes to activate his infamous eyes… only to find he couldn't see a damn thing inside the auspicious chested-drawers.

-_Da fuck?_-

Upon trying again and reaching the same results, the great lord of the white-eyed household switched his view from the conventional 'see-through-supposedly-EVERYTHING!!' to that of the 'normal' combat mode where his great eyes detected/saw chakra flow… only to find that the entire chested-drawers was covered in a surrounding field of chakra, seemingly originating from a certain point on the top of the furniture. It is best noted that if he'd taken the time to notice, he'd find that a decent amount of objects in Hinata's room were similar, but this seemed to escape his 'omnipotent eyes'.

-_Oookay, if I didn't know any better this looks like some kind of seal…_-

Upon closer inspection of the top of the chested-drawers there seemed to be a small carved in mark, which looked completely foreign to the Hyuuga patriarch. A mental brow rose.

-_Either my daughter's taken a sudden interest in sealing or a friend of hers did this…_-

His mind went through a mental list of all the people she knew, adding those he found in the album, and determined that he had no freakin' idea if any one of them had any talent in the area. So dismissing this odd information for later the elder Hyuuga examined his current course of action.

-_So… looking through the wood seems apparently out of the question… though if I physically open and search there's a likely chance she'd know someone was in here…_-

Again, another moral dilemma.

_-I could always blame one of the cleaners…_-

The internal form of Hiashi quickly did a 'shifty-eyes' motion whilst plotting his next course of action. His body seemingly taking this as a cue reached his hand out to the top drawer, grabbed one of the handles and pulled… only for the drawer to remain firmly closed.

­-_WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!_-

After continued tries, and getting nowhere except jiggling the handles, Hyuuga Hiashi removed his hand and glared death at the offending piece of furniture, that for some reason seemed to thwart his every attempts at discovering his eldest daughter's undergarments!!

-_This evil wooden contraption won't defeat me!!_-

"Ano… Otou-san, what are you doing in Onee-chan's room?" came the obviously confused voice of the little heathen in the hall as she saw her father glaring death at her sister's chested-drawers.

The Hyuuga lord crossed his arms, seemingly unfettered that he'd been caught in his 'information gathering' mission by his youngest daughter, his white-eyes burning hot fury at the wooden furniture in front of him, "I can't seem to open this…"

"Well, yeah," his younger daughter said as if it was common knowledge as she crossed over to her father, "I've never been able to open that thing, along with most of the stuff in Hinata-nee-chan's room, it's really weird…"

"Curious," in an unusual move the Hyuuga head rubbed his chin in a musing fashion, "If that's true then…" his gaze left the furniture and went to his youngest daughter, and for a moment he seemed to just realize she was there, his internal mind raising a brow in curiosity, "where did you find that… undergarment… then?" you could _almost_ hear his disdain as he said 'undergarment'.

-_like that thing even counts as one!!_-

Hanabi scratched the back of her head as she pondered a moment, ducking her head to hide the _slightest_ dust of pink across her cheeks, "I found it in her travel bag…"

Hiashi's eyes narrowed in the slightest, wondering if he should even question further.

-_There is just something weird about my children…_-

"What are you doing here?" his voice was stern and his cold Hyuuga façade was well back in place as his white-eyes stared down at his youngest daughter.

"Ooooh yeeeaah…" the oddly high-pitch way she said that hurt his ears, "I was running around looking for you, and the only place I hadn't checked was Hinata-nee-chan's room, which is really weird that I found you here, but umm…" she paused thinking a moment trying to remember 'why' she was looking for her father in the first place, apparently ignoring the weird fact that she found him in her sister's room, "The elders were looking for you, some meeting they want you present for or something…"

-_I hate being clan head sometimes…_-

If there was ever a moment where lord Hiashi wanted to take a deep breath and sigh depressingly it was every time he was called to a meeting of the clan elders… so pretty much at least three times a week, if not more, but he was a Hyuuga, and had a reputation as 'cold as stone' to up hold, so forgoing any depressing sighs he began heading out of his eldest daughter's room, "Thank you Hanabi, I'll meet with them shortly."

-_Old boring bastards…_-

As his footsteps continued down the hall he became oddly aware that he wasn't being followed, "And stay out of your sister's room!!" In no time flat the door behind him was closed and his youngest daughter was scurrying away as fast as she could.

-_Then again, sometimes it is fun being head of the clan…_-

* * *

A/N: anyone else get those weird ideas in your head every time your looking for something? no? well i guess Hia-kun and i are just weird...

-snickers- i feel a need to say '1up' but i doubt any of you will get my internal joke till i come out with more chapters... hehe, and i'm evil for Hina-chan not showing up just yet...

review?

till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!!

-Ikasury


	7. Hiashi II

A/N: i've come to realize, i work really well with headphones on... makes me wonder why i didn't do this earlier... along with finishing this adorably little chappy... geez can't believe it took me so long, then again, life blows and all that, least i'll be outta school in another week and a half -grins-

Dis: Its all owned my that mofo jap. guy called Kishimoto, i'm just a fan that's happy he FINALLY did something right, in my humble opinion... (EVERYONE GO READ CHAPTER 437!!) oh, yea, and i'm borrowing Hiashi for this bit...

Enjoy!!

* * *

Today's Subject: Hyuuga Hiashi (Younger)

(It is noted that this segment is comprised of the reenactment of _'certain'_ documents found nestled deeply in the conclave of the Hyuuga private archives… I.e. The Attic, and more specifically in a box which housed a specific '_Book´ _with the misspelled lettering of 'Hyuuga Hiashi: Age 9, LOOK AND DIE!!' plastered on the side… let us continue)

-_It has been said that a great leader is someone who can face any danger…_-

A younger version of the future lord of the white-eyed clan finds himself quickly darting behind a bush, his magnificent, if gravely inadequate compared to his future self of awesomeness… (Cough) his magnificent, _minor_, white-eyes of awesomeness, sneak a peek out of his leafy camouflage.

-_A great leader can face any obstacle and come out victorious!!_-

After assuming the coast is clear the minor with the great white-eyes quickly darts (using his magnificent nine-year-old academy-grade sneaking abilities) to the next checkpoint (tree) in his designated path to his most sought after '_target'._

_-A great leader can do whatever he sets his mind too…_-

Completely neglecting the astounding abilities his great family's white-eyes are capable of, the young prepubescent form of little Hyuuga Hiashi (aww ain't he cute!!) peeks his (adorable) young white-eyes past the bark of the young oak he's currently '_hiding'_ behind to view the form of the young figures past the mighty plane. (Cough… playground)

-_… even ask out the cutest girl in class…_-

An adorable dust of '_dark pink_' flooded across the young Hyuuga's cute little face at his thoughts, while his little white-eyes gazed at the beauty beyond the play ground practicing her Kunai-tossing. (Aww, an adorable romance…)

-_I can do this… its only like 20 feet… yea I can do this…_­-

The tiny form of the Hyuuga heir (to be great Lord AND MASTER!!) shook as he willed his body to move beyond the safe cover of the young oak tree. Small beads of sweet began to form on his uncovered forehead as he made it about two inches from his hideaway.

-_T-that's right, just a little more, its only 19 feet and 10 more inches… just a little more…_-

His little black sandals shuffled another inch away from the sanctuary of the great tree. He gulped as his eyes watched her practice, how despite her failures she just grabbed another blunted Kunai and tried again, and again, and again, until she finally hit the target just the way she wanted and gave an effervescent smile at her small victory.

-_That smile…_-

The young Hyuuga was powerless to that, heaven forbid, absolutely _**adorable**_smile. Whether or not the young Hyuuga knew it, he was enthralled by that smile in a dangerous new emotion his young prepubescent mind would never fully understand.

-_What I would give if she'd just smile at me like that…_-

Without realizing it he had actually made it about 5 feet away from his 'base', the tree, all the while holding a dreamy gaze and absolute lack of cognitive thought while watching his kunai-throwing beauty. Ah, Love, a dangerous and mysterious emotion that seems to just wipe away all thoughts or recognition of your surroundings, giving one tunnel vision on your objective until…

-_Ack!! She's turning towards me!! W-what do I d-do?!_-

With the rising panic, and shrinking of his invisible pupils, as the female of his affections slowly, ever-so slowly made her axial turn to the right, and consequently putting the young tomatoe-esque Hyuuga male into her line of sight, his crashing Hyuuga mind did the first thing that came to mind…

-_HIDE!!_-

With speed that would put a jounin to shame, the young Hiashi seemingly teleported from midway across the playground back to the safety of his foreword-base, the young oak tree. The young girl of his affections simply looked around, and finding nothing, shrugged and went back to her practice.

(It should be considered that it has never been said that the Hyuuga mind is 'rational')

"T-th-hat w-wa-as c-cl-los-se" said the young, hiding, Hyuuga, or more accurately stuttered the young, hiding, afraid-to-be-caught-stalking, Hyuuga as he tried to catch his breath while shaking, sweating, and blushing violently. It's a wonder people didn't think there was a tomato in his family somewhere.

"What are you doing Hiashi-sama?" asked a young boy of about the age of nine with long black hair, scanning white eyes and a distinct wrap around his forehead in an all black jumper, who happened to have popped out of nowhere behind the 'attempting-to-hide' other male Hyuuga.

(It should also be noted that male Hyuuga do not 'eep!' no matter the situation…)

"Eep!!" came the small boyish yelp of surprise by the male Hyuuga without the head-wrap.

(… or so they claim)

Completely ignoring the previous 3 seconds, as they didn't happen, the young boy without head-wrappings swung around to look into the pale eyes of his mirror-image, minus the head-wrap, "Hizashi-kun, w-what a-are y-you d-doing here?"

-_Damnit!! What's he doing here?!_-

Hizashi, the Hyuuga boy with the head-wrap, looked at his 'older brother' questioningly with a single raised black brow, "Hiashi, what are you doing?" he leaned into his personal space to get a closer look at him, "are you blushing?" a sly grin came to the doppelganger's face.

-_Damn you brother!!_-

"N-NO-O!!" came the strangled, and completely unbelievable, cry of the young Hiashi, as he pathetically tried to cover up the fact that 'YES!' indeed he was blushing, and stuttering to boot.

-_Damnit!! What's wrong with me?! Every time something like this happens I'm reduced to a blithering idiot!! Kami, save me!!_-

The poor boy had simply no idea what was wrong with him, and will not for a long time, at least till he is much older and seeing similar symptoms in his estranged eldest daughter, but that is for another time, for now this will be considered the infamous Hyuuga 'Blush and Stutter' act.

"So what were you doing that's got you all flustered, Hiashi-_sama_?" His 'younger' brother's face a sadistic grin as he cornered Hiashi, his pale eyes closely watching the Hyuuga heir's for any sign of movement. His playful little demon grin widened as an idea came to him, "Or better yet, should I be asking **who**?" it was at that moment Hiashi became the color of vermillion and Hizashi couldn't contain himself any longer.

"I-it-ts n-no-ot-t w-wh-ha-at-t y-yo-ou-u t-th-hi-in-nk-k!" the young, embarrassed, scarlet colored boy tried in vain to deny the obvious.

-_Damn him, always coming around at the worst possible times just to make fun of me_-

The embarrassed young Hyuuga finally gained some of his composure, or at least enough of it to form a half-decent Hyuuga-death-glare while still maintaining a nice cherry complexion. His brother could only laugh harder. The young Hiashi practically growled as he clinched his tiny fist, "I-it's not f-funny, Hizashi!!"

Hizashi just grinned at his brother.

-_what's with him, one second he's dissing me and making fun of me, the next he's all proud I'm yelling at him… I hope he's not one those mass-oh-kists, or whatever grandpa called those crazy people…_-

The young Hyuuga Heir just narrowed his eyes at his eternal rival and brother, not quite sure what was going through his twin's obviously warped mind. At least he managed to come down to a salmon color.

"So?" Hizashi began, giving his brother a cheery grin and invading even more of the young boy's personal space.

-_What the hell's up with him, if he gets any chummier with me I'm Jyuukening his ass over the academy building_-

Hiashi merely gave his questionably demented twin a skeptical gaze, obviously not getting whatever the hell he was asking. Hizashi merely narrowed his eyes and snorted.

"Uh, hello, you gonna tell me who this girl is that's got my bro all doe-eyed and looking off into space?" he told his wrap-less doppelganger with his hands on his hips like a chiding mother. The Hyuuga heir's skin-tone suddenly became reminiscent of a ruby.

-_Oh shit!! What do I do?!_-

Without realizing it, his body seemed to make the decision for him. As if by reflex, and totally out of non-conscious action, the young Hyuuga heir turned slightly in the direction across the plane of combat, playground, and his magnificent white eyes '_ever-so-slightly_' twitched in the direction of the goddess of his affections. His brother, being the obviously more observant one of the two, caught on to this little display and put two-and-two together really quickly, at least that's what the new smirk on his face would tell any passerby.

-_What's with that look?_-

Following his brother's malicious white-eyes and cheeky grin Hiashi's face paled, realizing his cunning brother must have figured out his affections. It only made it worse when he gave a smug grin commenting, "I have to hand it to you, brother, she is hot!" it only made matters worse that he was leaning over young Hiashi while openly staring at the girl he was moments ago trying to hide from.

"Who's hot?" spoke a gruff young feminine voice, followed by a bark, as the sound of leaves being rustled announced others' arrival.

-_Oh Kami… NO!! Not them!!_-

The poor young future head of the Hyuuga was now at the bottom of a four man totem poll, with a snippy black puppy on the top. His arrogant, sniped brother on top of him, he could tell by the humming that dark quiet boy Shibi was above him, and that only meant She was on top of him, as if her vocal entrance and dog weren't obvious enough.

-_What the hell are they even doing over here?!_-

"See it's the girl over there, practicing her Kunai-tossing," Hizashi informed the newcomers, not even caring about his brother's plight.

-_Damnit brother they don't need to know about her!!_-

"The one with Mina-chan?" Tsume, the gruff girl on top asked while her puppy wagged his tail threatening the stability on the human totem pole.

-_Shut up Tsume, this is none of your business!!_-

"Yea that's her, the hot girl!" Hizashi grinned, noting his brother's increasing crimson color.

-_STOP SAYING THAT!! You make her sound like some kind of food!_-

"She is rather attractive," came the stoic, and oddly deep for his age, voice of Shibi, while apparently having no difficulty whatsoever supporting the wild girl and her feisty canine.

­-_Damn… you… Shibi…_-

"Then it is agreed!!" Tsume practically shouted while punching her hand, "she shall be dubbed from this day hence; 'Hot-Chick'! All in favor?" there was a quick shout of three 'Ayes' and one bark, "Against?" there was a strangled man-squeal from the bottom rung of the totem pole that no one really paid any attention to, "Then it is agreed, she is 'Hot-Chick'."

-_What the F_—

And with a mighty heave, the previously ignored bottom rung lifted the rest up about a foot and threw them off him to where they all fell into a heap behind the forward base. As the young Inuzuka, Aburame, and branch Hyuuga found their bearings they looked up at the heaving and obviously disheveled Hyuuga heir, who more closely resembled a tomato, a heaving, panting, sweating, evil tomato.

"Dude, Hiashi, the hell's up with you?" grunted Tsume, not all that really phased by lying on the ground with her puppy. Shibi simply stood up and dusted off his pants and overcoat before silently offering his hand to her, which the canid girl just shrugged to and took hold of. Hey if the Aburame wants to be a gentleman, let him, Kuromaru found a nice spot sitting on her head.

"Pfft," the Hyuuga branch member 'said' as he stood up, "Hiashi-_sama_ is just all moody cause he's in love with 'Hot-Chick'," he lightly dusted off his pants as the area became noticeably quieter as young Hiashi's brain just crashed.

"Seriously?" the dog-girl looked at the head-wrapped boy queerly as she patted herself off. The Aburame seemed to find interest in the conversation as well, that or he was just looking off into space while coincidently facing the right direction, who knew?

"Yup," said Hiashi's cocky doppelganger with a smirking grin as he faced Tsume, "saw him earlier trying to walk up to her, got about ten feet from her before she turned and he ran back here like a chicken," the nine year old with the head-wrap started laughing, and it wasn't long before the feral girl and her puppy quickly joined in.

"That is rather shameful," came the oddly deep voice of Shibi as he adjusted his black sunglasses, jingling the small bell hanging off them.

-_Oh, he DID not!_-

It seemed in that moment young Hiashi's brain suddenly rebooted at the none-to-subtle jab to his honor-bound Hyuuga-pride.

"Oooooh! I think you're brother just got Aburame-served!!" said the wild girl as she latched her arm around the head-wrapped boy's neck while the two of them stood back from the impending stare-off. Hizashi simply nodded to the loud girl with a grin as his mighty white-eyes were glued on his brother waiting for his reaction.

-_There is no way, NO WAY!! I'm going to let that cocky bug-bastard just get away with that, NO ONE insults Hyuuga Hiashi and gets away with it!!_-

While the young boy's mind raved for vengeance, his body steeled, he took a deep breath, clinched his fists and tried as hard as he could to put up a good, threatening, Hyuuga front, just like he'd seen his father do to the elders all the time… or better yet on more private occasions his mother to his father when she wanted something done, after all that look was far more successful.

In a flash the young Hyuuga heir turned around and faced the Aburame heir with a steely confidence and stone-like visage that would in years to come strike fear in the hearts of all who knew him, "What did you just say, Aburame?"

With a slight raise of his brow, the slightly taller boy merely stared at the Hyuuga heir a moment, in the next he adjusted his glasses, "I believe I said 'That is rather shameful," he put his hands in his coat pockets while looking down at the smaller boy, "I was under the impression that Hyuuga feared nothing, especially their leader, and by proxy, their _future_ leader," the young boy's voice was calm, cool, collected, and totally more intimidating in its flatness then anything the young Hyuuga could pull off at this day and age.

-_Damn… you… Shibi!!_-

Little developing 'mental' Hiashi was ranting and raving at the 'brash' Aburame, while on the outside the little Hyuuga heir managed to maintain his calm-er façade in the face of his 'faceless' opponent. He clinched his fist and squared his Hyuuga-glare to the black shades of his opponent.

-_I can do this, I am the Heir to the Hyuuga, I will face any challenge with confidence and dignity!!_-

"Y-yea, well I can, I'm not afraid of anything," came the 'fierce' logic of a nine-year-old boy in the school playground. Though despite the few inches the dark boy had on the Hyuuga heir, and that horrible stutter in his voice, little Hiashi stood to his full height trying to look impressive to the bug boy. Young Hiashi could practically sense the snickering from his brother, and hear it from the Inuzuka female.

-_Damn bastards oughta mind their own business_-

The Aburame made a play of adjusting his glasses, apparently 'eyeing' Hiashi very wearily for several long minutes. The little Hyuuga Heir felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

-_That guy is so creepy_-

"Very well," the Aburame said rather abruptly in the developing silence. Shibi placed his hands in his pocket while he 'looked' at Hiashi, "if you are so confident in yourself, then prove it-"

"I will!!" young Hiashi practically shouted, cutting the Aburame off. There were times when even this little white-eyed human should be patient and keep his mouth shut, unfortunately he wouldn't learn that for a very, VERY, long time.

-_he dares to insult me, I'm Hyuuga Hiashi!! I will be the greatest Hyuuga of all time, and the best leader to the clan, I can do anything this bug boy can dish out!!_-

Spoke the _very_ confident developing inner voice of little mental Hiashi, it's quite apparent '_he_' hadn't changed that much in thirty-something years…

Shibi adjusted his sunglasses again, jingling the tiny bell attached to them, "you really shouldn't cut someone off, it is very rude," the Aburame heir chastising the Hyuuga heir on etiquette got a howling laughter from a certain girl and her dog, while she practically strangled the other Hyuuga who was having a hard time breathing as it was through his laughter.

Little Hiashi glared his adorable white eyes at the two, "Shut up!!" (Yes, very eloquent…) His little outburst only caused the two to laugh harder.

-_Just ignore them, just ignore them, just ignore them…_-

Little mental Hiashi was fuming, repeating the mantra as he pushed the obnoxious laughter of his twin brother and the evil Inuzuka girl Tsume. He waited a moment; expecting either the dimwit duo to quit howling or the Aburame to finish his peace, with whatever it was that he would have to prove himself as 'brave', or at least not a coward in the bug-boy's eyes. (Since he is like, NINE!! And popularity is _sooo_ important at that age…)

-_Come on, somebody say something, else I'm totally blowing this pop-stand…_-

Shibi adjust his glasses a final time, this gesture somehow silencing the giggling duo, and it wasn't the first time Hiashi was jealous of the taller boys 'power'. He put his hands back in his coat pocket, examining the smaller boy, again, hopefully this time he'd actually complete his sentence, "Do you agree to the arrangement?" his bizarrely flat voice came.

-_Say what?!_-

Outer Hiashi and developing inner Hiashi were both very confused, "What arrangement?" he said to the older boy.

Again, adjusting those black shades…

-_That MUST be a nervous tick or something; he does it like every five seconds… oh…_-

"You must agree to my request, that you will do it no matter what it is, to restore the Aburame's faith in the Hyuuga, since you are the heir," glasses adjusting again, jingling the little bell this time, "Otherwise, I will not tell you '_what_' it is you will be doing, Hyuuga-_san_," Black shades just stared at white eyes again.

-_Uh… okay, what is up with this guy, it's not like he could come up with anything I wouldn't, or COULDN'T do, since I __**am**__ Hyuuga Hiashi, soon-to-be-greatest leader of the Hyuuga EVER!!_-

(He's so cute with his delusions of grandeur)

The tiny white-eye heir stuck on his, not-so-great-but-good-enough stern Hyuuga face, as he looked the Aburame directly in the shade, "Very well, I accept, whatever it is you will have me do…" it was at this moment little Hiashi got a sudden feeling of dread, as he heard the Inuzuka female take a swift intake of breath, along with his brother, and he was _almost_ certain he saw a smirk appear behind the high collar Shibi wore. It would be after this experience Hiashi would learn to never agree to _ANYTHING_ an Aburame says…

"Very well," Shibi adjusted his glasses, obscuring any view of the tiny smirk on his face, and stood up straight looking out across the field, "the task is simple," he glanced down at Hiashi, grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around to look out with him, "your task is this," Hiashi got a sinking feeling as a could sense his brother and that Inuzuka woman come up behind him as well…

-_They just want to see what he's gonna have me do, that's all…_-

The hand on his shoulder tightened, and his stomach sunk, "You will go ask _**her**_ out…" The young Shibi stretched his arm out, and little Hiashi's white-eyes followed them, finding him pointing directly at the object of his affections. The little white-eyed heir gulped.

-_… damn… you… Shibi…_-

And to make matters worse, Hiashi suddenly found three pairs of arms grab him swiftly (and was that a puppy biting his leg?) and without much effort, seeing as he was smaller than all but one of them, he was bodily picked up and hurled out of the 'forward base' and into the barren wastes of the playground, landing about 8 ft. from his '_target_'. Sadly he landed directly on his face.

-_I'm sooo going to kill them… Jyuukening them over the monument…_-

"Oh my god!! Are you okay?!" came sweet and angel-like voice to the poor Hyuuga's prepubescent ears, "Minato-kun, go get one of the teacher's I think he's hurt…" the young white-eyed boy heard footsteps both coming and going from him, as he was suddenly turned over with the sun directly in his face, which was quickly replaced by prettiest girl in class, "Are you alright?"

-_ohmigawd!! Ohmigawd!! Whatdoido?!?!?!?_-

"Hey, are you alright, answer me?" she leaned in close to his face, making the young boy sweat from the proximity, "hey, your face is all red, and you're really hot, I think you may have a fever… Hey!! Stay with me!!" The young girl, without realizing she was only making this situation that much worse, put both hands on both sides of little Hiashi's burning crimson face while trying to keep his white eyes leveled with her own.

Now, it is said that before the then-Hyuuga Heir lost consciousness (like a certain other Hyuuga we all know) he managed to raise his arm to the side of her face, grab hold of it, and since they were already so close together, managed to push her down just enough for him give her an adorable little peck on the cheek. This time it was the girl's turn to turn crimson, and as his consciousness fade he managed to blurt out, "GO OUT WITH ME!!" and then he knew nothing but blackness.

… that is until he woke up several hours later in the hospital, with his brother and 'friends' staring at him, each with a cheeky grin.

"Nice job Hiashi-kun!!"

"*Bark*"

"Not bad, Onii-Sama…"

A bell jingled, "That will do, Hyuuga"

And the little Hyuuga heir turned bright red and knew blackness yet again.

-_I'm so dead…_-

* * *

A/N: for anyone who wanted to see more Shibi and Tsume, i think i'm really starting to like these two -grins evilly-

and yes, i purpose put no real detail in to 'Hot-Chick' for the expressed reason that no one really knows what Hinata's mom looks like, or if she was Hiashi's first love, but either way, i'm tormenting a 9 year old here...

also, i felt if i made him 10 he wouldn't be cute anymore...

and in all honesty, Hinata had to get 'it' from somewhere, right? XD

-munches cheeze-itz-

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!!

-Ikasury


	8. Hanabi II

A/N: oooohh.... this one gets a subtitle!! ^.^ **AKA: 'SISTERS' OR 'Hinata 2.5'  
**

Yea, so i'm weird... this was a rather spur of the moment idea, and its funny how it tampers with the 'norm' i've developed for this... oh well, a change in perspective is fun every now-and-then... plus it kinda sets up the chappy i had intended to write... but... well... -.- let's just say, i've learned that Lee is the bane of my writing... and i'll leave it at that...

Dis: do i look asian? no... therefore i can't be a sucessful mangaka that makes fat-stacks o' cash... i'm broke, get it -.-

enjoy!!

* * *

Today's Subject: Hyuuga Hanabi (annotations)

-_Of course it is one of those days…_-

"I will be back shortly after noon, I don't expect to be gone longer than that," came the deep commanding voice of the lord of the Hyuuga residence. The tall man was straightening out his hakama, making sure it was neat and orderly, like just about everything else with the man.

-_One of those rare and fateful days…_-

His sharp white-eyes turned down to the young teenage girl following him around, "I want to be informed the moment I return if there is news of your elder sister, understood?"

-_That out of everyone in the house…_-

"Understood, Otou-san," Hyuuga Hanabi stated mechanically, leaving her face schooled as she knew it was supposed to be. Her father seemed to give a curt nod, before turning from her, making sure his geta were on properly and exiting the main house, and presumably the main gates further out.

-_… I'm the one seemingly standing still…_-

The youngest of the Hyuuga main family simply stood there a moment as she watched her father's back disappear out the gate and to the right, towards the village. She had no idea what her father was up to, it was strange enough for him to leave the premises, but unguarded? That was just plain weird.

-_I get the feeling he's planning something…_-

The young girl who seemed to emulate her father in every manner made an effortless forty-five degree turn to the left and started walking down the monotonous halls.

-_I really don't get him some times…_-

She mused, passing some branch members in the hall. She made no move to acknowledge them, and they made no move to bother her. she had seen how her father would often walk the halls completely ignored, and years ago she thought that would have been rude, and probably would have activated their seals had she been a crueler person, but with age came experience, and she learned that the best things in life were some times to be just left alone.

-_He's been active lately… he has that strange look in his eyes like he's scheming something…_-

The young girl's eyes narrowed slightly as her lower lip rose into a semi-pout. It took a lot of effort on her part to not scrunch her face up completely; like that one guy her sister hung-out with did all the time. Being overly expressive, in the eyes of a Hyuuga, was just a wasted effort.

-_I never understood the point in it…_-

In the house of Hyuuga emotional expression was kept to a minimum. This was a basic fact. It was almost like breathing for 'most' Hyuuga, and many simply kept up the tradition, even if they had no idea where, when, or why it was originated. Some said it was the clan's scare-tactics, others said it was the way 'nobility' should act. She didn't know. But then again, Hanabi had to admit, even if only to herself, she was young and she really only emulated people around her, especially her father.

-_He keeps everything hidden… but sometimes there's these crack, that only someone paying attention could find…_-

The young white-eyed teen had been noticing these 'cracks' in her father's mask as of late. Most of the time it was just a certain _twitch_ while he was in especially deep thought, or maybe a slip of his hand, a light shade change in his face, a quirk of something here or there. It was usually so minute Hanabi only knew she saw it because she believed she did, and then again, even that didn't sound like very sound logic.

-_I wonder what Otou-san has to hide_-

The young girl placed a hand under her chin and she mused over the times she'd seen these 'cracks'. In all honesty, she'd never before considered what her father had to hide, if he had anything to hide. But recently she'd simply had this 'feeling' around her father, like he wasn't really paying attention. Then there was that time she'd found him in her sister's room…

-_He has taken a strange interest in Onee-chan as of late…_-

She turned a corner without even looking, expertly making her way to her destination. She flashed her Byakuugan on and off occasionally to make sure she was going the right way, and no one was around. Call her paranoid, but she hated having people around when she was thinking.

-_Ever since I brought that…_-

She couldn't help the inconsequential blush that dusted her cheeks as she remembered what she'd 'found' in her elder sister's bag. She swallowed and shook her head to get over the 'garment'. ­

-_The point is… since I showed him __**that**__ he's been acting all weird… well more than usual…_-

The young Hyuuga nearly groaned as she remembered she still had to put that 'thing' back too.

-_Damnit!! Why's stuff gotta be so complicated!!_-

At the point the young teen couldn't help the growl that escaped her throat. She was just happy no one was around to hear it, or worse, tell her how 'unladylike' such a thing was. she had a sudden flash of one of the maids chiding her on her brash nature when she was younger, and her seemingly 'worse' nature now that she'd finally hit her teens.

-_"Why can't you act more like your sister?"_-

She remembered them often saying. The entire statement had to make her snort, especially now.

­-_Now of all times clan-members have been telling me to act like Onee-chan…_-

"Tch," she couldn't help the indignant grunt that escaped her lips, nor the 'thug'-like pose she took because of it. It was a bad habit she had started picking up from her teammates, for some reason her and the one of the guys didn't get along, and he always took up this thug-pose, which she matched in kind, the two of them just always getting in each other's faces. Of course, that had been how it was originally, now they squared off 'thug-style' as they called it, just to pass the time, or joke around, it didn't _always_ lead to a fight like it used to. So her adopted habit when the young Hyuuga girl felt particularly pissed off at something was this 'thug-style' pose. Thank Kami no one was around to see it.

-_Otou-san would flip if he saw me slouching like this… anyone else from the clan would have a heart-attack…_-

She smirked at the idea, until another thought entered her mind making her smile.

-_Although, I think Nee-chan would just laugh…_-

The young Hyuuga put her hands behind her head and stretching out as she walked, thinking about her sister again.

-_Hinata-nee-chan…_-

The young woman she called an elder sister was the ultimate enigma of the Hyuuga. One minute she was the bane of her own existence, the next she was her role-model. At one time everyone in the clan shunned her for her supposed 'weakness', and now they praised her accomplishments and often spoke highly of her 'strength'.

-_Nee-chan, I just don't get you?_-

As far as Hanabi was concerned, her older sister was the exact opposite of what it meant to be 'Hyuuga'. She was quiet, she was kind, she was soft and gentle, she was meager, non-confrontational and her overall appearance was 'weak' or so many thought when she was young. Yet now? Now she was the complete same, yet she was no longer _just_ quiet, she was stealthy, she wasn't _just_ kind, she was understanding, she wasn't '_soft and gentle_', she was 'precise and graceful', and she wasn't '_meager or non-confrontational'_, she was accomplished and a peacekeeper. Hyuuga Hinata was now seen as an epitome of 'strength' for Konoichi. Hanabi just didn't understand, other than age, what had changed about her sister that made the clan see her differently.

-_Nee-chan is Nee-chan, she's just as she's always been to me, so I don't get it? __**That**__ used to be 'bad' right? And now it's 'good'?_-

The pout on the young Hyuuga's face became more pronounced as thoughts drifted in and out of her mind. She shook her head as she stopped in front of her destination. She took a deep breath as she looked at the ground, her mahogany reflection staring back at her in the lacquered floor below her. Her pale white-eyes glanced to the left and right momentarily as the girl reached her hand out to the 'wall', finding its familiar edge and swiftly opening the sliding door letting herself into the room.

"Hanabi-chan, you should really knock before you enter someone's room, it's only polite"

­-_What the f-!!!­_-

The younger Hyuuga heiress visibly jumped at the delicate voice that warmly chastised her. The younger girl's pale white-eyes widened as she turned towards the interior of the room, finding its owner looking at her with a charming smile from her open closet.

"H-Hinata-nee-chan?!" the younger girl blinked a moment, surprise obvious on her face as she watched her older sister rummage around in the back of her closet.

"Hai, Hanabi-chan," She called from inside her closet. The elder of the Hyuuga sister's stood up straight, pulling something from the storage space that Hanabi couldn't see, and seemed to fluidly move to put it in her open bag lopped on her bed, just outside the stunned girl's vision. The young woman turned back to her younger sister with a gentle smile, "Was there something you needed?"

The younger girl just blinked.

-_Am I seeing things, or is Hinata-nee-chan actually here…_-

An ink-blue brow rose on the elder's forehead as she looked at her younger sister. When she continued to just get a blank stare from her usually rowdy sister, Hinata couldn't help but give a light playful smirk. The older girl walked over to her sister, leaning in front of her with her playful smirk as she poked the younger girl in the center of her forehead, "Ne? Nabi-chan, are you just going to stare all day?"

Hanabi responded with a rather obvious pout, pushing her elder sister's hand away from her forehead, "Ever heard of the front door?" she turned to the side with her eyes closed, only _slightly_ annoyed at her elder sister's childish behavior, "It's this amazing thing, allows people to know when others come home or not…" the younger girl crossed her arms, accentuating her pout.

-_Jeez, she still does childish things like that doesn't she…_-

Hinata only seemed to smile genuinely at her little sister, before it became playful as she brought her hand up with her index finger out to her lips, "Our secret, Nabi-chan?" she added a wink, making Hanabi think it was that much more childish.

"Tch," Hanabi's pout became that much more prominent.

-_Every time she says 'Out Secret', I feel like I'm being blackmailed for some reason…_-

Hanabi gave her sister a side long glance, "Fine," her sister's smile seemed to widen as it spread to her eyes almost closing them. Hanabi found that grin, most of all, to be just too much.

-_Every time she does that I feel like I've been conned into something, like she's some kinda fox out for mischief… although I doubt anyone would believe me if I ever told someone about it…_-

Internally Hanabi couldn't help but smirk at that. She, the younger daughter of Hyuuga Hiashi, the one thought to be a prodigy and most likely to succeed the clan, knew something that the rest of her clan didn't, hell, something that ALL of Konoha didn't.

-_Nee-chan keeps a lot of secrets…_-

The younger sister stood a moment as her elder sister went back to whatever it was she was doing, seemingly packing a travel bag for some reason, even if she had just gotten back from a mission. Hanabi knew there was no point in trying to see what was in the bag; she learned awhile ago that there were just some things she or anyone couldn't see, especially in her sister's room.

-_If Nee-chan wants you to find something, you'll find it, otherwise…_-

The young teen's white eyes followed her sister as she moved to her nightstand, picking up the innocent-looking photo-album and flipping through it casually. She acted calmly scanning a few choice pages, but Hanabi knew her sister was purposely looking through the thing, even though she wasn't sure why.

-_I think Otou-san looked through that when he was in here… wonder what he thought about it…_-

Her sister paused at a certain picture and seemed to just smile at it. Hanabi started to wonder which picture it was, she hadn't exactly seen everything in that particular album, but she had seen a few pictures her sister had from her teammates and others.

-_I wonder what's got her so happy…_-

The wheels in the young Hyuuga's mind started turning as she observed her older sister close the album and swiftly put it in her bag as well. The younger girl just eyed her sister, and the bag, trying to figure out what she was planning. Hinata seemed to turn towards the bag and started shuffling through it, probably double-checking everything that was in it.

-_I wonder what she's doing…_-

"Nee-chan?" the younger's voice called cautiously in the quiet room, her sister stopped in her rummaging to look at her, giving a gentle glance that told her to continue, "Where are you going?"

Hinata gave that funny little grin of hers again as she grabbed the bag, putting one of the straps over her shoulder as she walked over to her younger sister, "Hi-mi-tsu," she punctuated each syllable with emphasis causing Hanabi to pout more. Hinata only stood straighter as she gave her little sister a more 'normal' smile, "That's my secret, okay?"

-_Ten to one its some kind of training…_-

She couldn't help but think, but then she eyed the bag again and started to wonder. Her pale white-eyes traveled up her sister to find her lavender-tinted ones, a skeptical look on the younger girl's face, "So when are you 'coming home'?" she gave extra emphasis to the last two words, knowing well her sister would get their real meaning.

Hinata reached out and placed her free hand on her sister's head affectionately, "Tomorrow at the latest, I've just got something to give to someone, then a few extra errands," she mused her sister's hair as she started heading towards the door, "And I'll probably stay at Sensei's, so no need to tell Otou-sama, okay?" she looked down at her sister with an honest smile, hoping for the right answer.

The younger girl sighed deeply.

-_I swear, how does anyone think she's an 'upstanding, decent girl' when she's out doing stuff like this…_-

She eyed her elder sister, skeptically of course, knowing that probably only half of what she was saying was the truth.

-_Then again, I guess I am just enabling her to do this…_-

"Fine," Hanabi said, only half-reluctantly, seeing the grateful smile on her elder sister's face.

Hinata opened the sliding door and took one step before pausing and saying in a low voice, "And don't worry about what you found Hanabi-chan, I went and got it from your room," The elder Hyuuga's eyes were hooded and covered by her hair, so Hanabi didn't get to see her expression before she stepped out the door and literally disappeared.

-_W-W-W-What?!_-

It wasn't even a second and Hanabi bolted out the door after her sister, she was met with a completely empty hallway. She turned her head to the left, and then the right, and found nothing but the monotonous white-shoji walls of the hall. Even Hanabi knew only the most experienced Shinobi could disappear like that, it was another one of the things she knew about her sister that everyone else didn't, the girl could show up like a sudden rain and disappear just as quickly.

-_She knew…_-

Hanabi's eyes scrunched and narrowed somehow caught between looking angry and curious as she looked up and down the hallways again, knowing full well she wasn't going to see any sign of her elder sister. She pouted again, only this time not as mad, "I can't believe she knew…"

-_I really hate days where I'm the one that's standing still…_-

* * *

A/N: from what i know, 'Himitsu' means 'secret' or 'its a secret' and drawing out the syllables is just a means to emphasize that whatever is just that, a secret, and its some what childish... i could just see Hinata doing that....

another thing, since i've yet to mention ages, i honestly don't know myself to tell the truth, but i'd say that the rookies are anywhere between 18-20, so that would mean that Hanabi-chan here is anywhere from 13-15, which is why i keep flipping from calling her a 'teen' and a 'girl', she's still technically a prepubescent at the low end of the spectrum, while she's a 'teen' at the high end, and i'm not sure which it is really... while Hinata is distinctly a 'Young Woman'... i just felt i'd throw that out there, and this is for the majority of the 'reports', ones that actually give dates, technically, completely ignore this rule, like the ZOMBIES!! and previous chappy XP

And yes, this is the 'first' time we actually 'see' Hinata... wonder what she's doin' ne?

Review? (Please!!! T.T )

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!!

-Ikasury


	9. Neji II

A/N: well this just went from bad, to worse, to just plain strange o.O;; DO NOT ask me where the end came from... that came out all on its own... but now Hiashi has more plus points in my opinion, and he's going to hell for 'Corrupting the Innocent' -evil grin- hehehe...

Dis: oh you already know by now!! get on with reading!! -stacks a sign in the ground saying 'dont' own it'- now get going!!

enjoy!!

* * *

Today's Subject: Hyuuga Neji (Teammates Pt. 1)

Subject 1: Rock Lee (Male Teammate, Jounin, Associate, member of original Genin team, horrible fashion sense, etc.)

-_Perfection must be corrected should a flaw appear…_-

The great lord of the Hyuuga strode towards the training grounds. Many who pasted him marveled at the unusual appearance of the Lord of one of Konoha's most infamous clans, especially considering he was walking on foot, alone, towards the _public_ training grounds. Such an odd sight indeed.

-_In order to correct this flaw I must seek the aid of those closest to him…_-

As the great Hyuuga lord came closer to his designation the familiar _**TWACK!!**_ of a training post taking a beating came to his opulent ears. The sound became louder and more constant the closer he got until he was within 'normal' visual distance and that horrible green atrocity came within sight.

-_Even if I really, Really, __**REALLY**__ don't want to…_-

Hiashi's magnificent white eyes spied the training form of none other than Rock Lee, Konoha's second 'Proud Green Beast'.

-_Not like they have anything to be proud of… seriously_-

His mind shuttered at the rising mental images.

-_scarred… for… life…_-

Now, while his mental self was rocking back and forth in the corner of his mindscape, his external self remained that revered 'stoic Hyuuga' as his highly trained white-eyes watched the green-clad youth.

-_Well I suppose there is 'one' thing at least 'this' one can be proud of…_-

Even mental Hiashi left the corner to observe the training youth before him. The great lord of the Hyuuga may have been proficient in his clan's mighty Taijutsu, Jyuuken, but even **he** was versed well enough in other forms, especially Goken, to know the younger of the green beasts' form was near flawless. A mindless hand came to his chin as he mused over the youth's style.

-_Even I have to admit I've never seen someone so adept at Taijutsu… no wonder Neji's form is so good in our clan style, with someone like this young man to compete with…_-

The man with the white eyes took the time to watch the young man clad in green train. He had heard from his prized nephew this particular young man was a fiend for training, it being as normal to him as breathing. Hell, he'd heard from Neji he even continued to train in his sleep.

-_It seriously makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with Mito Gai…_-

His prestigious white eyes narrowed only the slightest; in jealousy or disgust even he wasn't sure.

"Oh, Hyuuga-sama!!" The boy seemed to finally pick up on his presence.

-_Okay… so he's good at Taijutsu, and I'll give him that… and only that…_-

The young Taijutsu expert seemed to quickly assume a ninety-degree angle, bowing deeply at the presence of the head of the Hyuuga, "It is an honor sir, to have you observe my training!!"

-_He seems waaaaay to enthusiastic_…-

Mental Hiashi was beginning to debate whether or not Rock Lee was on either some kind of drugs or simply a sugar-high. His body seemed to simply cross his arms into his sleeves, giving a very imposing look of a prestigious and graceful noble, which he was. His white-eyes merely glanced from the boy to the completely demolished training post, and back to the black bowl-top. The Hyuuga leader closed his eyes, keeping the repose his clan was known for, "you seem to be doing rather well in your training, Rock Lee…" yes, cool as a cucumber.

The bowl-head quickly shook his head in the negative, taking up a gripping pose with huge tears streaming down his cheeks, and Hiashi was hard-pressed to tell if they were real or not, "Ie!! Hiashi-sama!! My training is not going good at all!!" the boy's eyes seemed to sparkle a bit, but he didn't give the Hyuuga any time to even consider what his problems were… before he simply screamed them out, loud, to a man less than a foot from him, "I've only managed to perform 2000 katas on this stump, when normally I'd be done with 3000," more weeping…

-_Is this boy insane?!_-

That was as far as mental Hiashi got before the 'weeping' boy continued on his bizarre tirade.

"And yesterday I only managed 5000 punches and kicks, aside from my normal 5500," more weeping and babbling, and even Hiashi was almost inclined to try and 'comfort' the crying freak, key word: almost.

-_Hell no am I dealing with this freak… no wonder Neji jumped at private lessons from me when I offered, if the student is this bad, I can't imagine the teacher…_-

Hiashi got about two steps into considering the horrors that were Mighto Gai's training regimen when suddenly the weeping stopped. A very 'creepy' feeling welled up in the Hyuuga lord's stomach and started crawling up his spine. His internal self didn't bother to hide the shuttering.

-_It's like the calm before the storm…_-

He slowly, ever so slowly, turned back to the possibly deranged young man in green. What he found was downright creepy.

-_That's just creepy…_-

Hiashi couldn't help the _**extremely**_ minute nod of agreement to his mental ponderings. His magnificent white-eyes saw the green-clad fre- er, 'youth' gripping his hands in front of his spandex covered chest with huge watery starry eyes, seemingly staring off into space.

-_Is this normal? Cause seriously I'd like to know…_-

The 'starting-to-irritate-me' voice from the Taijutsu specialist cracked through Hiashi's mental ponderings, "I know!!" did he have to yell at least _half_ the bloody time? "Since I didn't keep up with last week, I will do 6000 vertical pushups!!" Mental Hiashi's mental eyebrow started twitching, "and if I can't do that, then I will do 7000 hanging crunches," more twitching, "AND if I can't do that!! I'll run around Konoha 8000 times on my hands!!" okay, the twitching in his mind got so bad, that at least ONE twitch translated to his true-life's left eye, but the only person who could have confirmed this unspeakable action, was currently too absorbed in his challenging of himself to notice.

-_The __**HELL**__ did Gai do to this kid?!?!?!_-

"Ehem," Hiashi took the moment to cough, and set right his detrimentally traumatized mind at the thoughts of what _horrors_ Maito Gai put his students through. His external pose was perfect as the strange green-clad youth turned back to him, bizarre eyes sparkling and waiting with rapt attention for whatever the Hyuuga lord had to say.

-_Does he __**HAVE**__ to do everything so… 'forcefully'?_-

Mental Hiashi honestly didn't know a word that properly described the enthusiasm Rock Lee seemed to express for such mundane things as a 'conversation', it was downright bizarre. His white-eyes fixed on the 'enthusiastic' youth, "Rock Lee, before you continue you with your…" even the YEARS of racking ones emotions in behind a mask of stone couldn't prevent the pause the Hyuuga lord gave as he looked from the crumbling training post, to the overly sparkling eyes of the young man in front of him, but he successfully fought the urge to take ten steps back _**away**_ from said youth, "_training_…"

-_Training?! That's insanity there my friend!! IN-SAN-I-TY!!!_-

He closed his eyes, making a slight gesture as if coughing in a strangely quiet room, before looking back at the 'youth' before him, "I was wondering if I could have your opinion on something…"

"Of course Hiashi-Sama!!" yep and there went Hiashi's other ear as Lee shouted his enthusiasm at 'helping' the lord of the Hyuuga. (Who's barely a foot from him… geez…)

-_SERIOUSLY!! Does he HAVE to yell just about everything he says?!_-

Mental Hiashi was quickly sticking his pinky in his ear in a primitive reflex to try and stop the ringing; his 'true' self unfortunately, didn't have the option, or pleasure, of such a comforting and mundane task.

-_Damn kid… this better be worth it…_-

Inner Hiashi took a deep breath as he ran a hand over his face, he really didn't want to get into this with this obvious 'stray-from-the-norm' person, but he really didn't have much of a choice now did he? The Lord of the Hyuuga house stood tall and proud as he opened his mouth to ask a simple thing:

"What do you think of '_tighty-whities_'?"

One could almost hear the '_cringe_' in the older man's voice as he nearly spat the word out.

-_I… hate… those… things…_-

While his inner self was busy cursing the damnable underwear, and the half of the Konoha male populace that wore them, his external self was opening his eyes and looking at the strange young man in green. Only to meet a blank face. His mighty white-eyes narrowed as the young man seemed to only tilt his head to the side as if he were completely confused.

-_Oh Kami… don't tell me…_-

"Ano, Hyuuga-sama," the boy seemed to tilt his head just slightly more, looking very comical, and had Hiashi be ANYONE else probably would have laughed at the absolute look of puzzlement on the younger 'green-beast's' face, also if he hadn't be previously occupied with seething over what he was sure was about to spill forth from the boy's mouth. And curse his luck, he was right, "What are 'tighty-whities'?"

-_…_-

Now, the reason lord Hiashi's mind was particularly quiet at this point in time wasn't due to it crashing… no, it was actually due to the near seizure levels of eye twitching poor inner Hiashi was putting forth from his sheer rage at this dimwit of a Taijutsu expert. Luckily, 'external' Hiashi picked up where his mind was too preoccupied to continue, "It's a form of male undergarment that is very tight, cumbersome, and in no way appealing…"

Utter silence…

Rock Lee's head seemed to tilt to the other side, and over all looked even more confused, "'Under… garments'?" he shakily repeated the word, obviously being foreign to him.

-_…_-

More twitching on mental Hiashi's part before his outer self put his boot-heel into the mental apparition's head and knocked him out for the next few minutes. Sadly, the damage was already done, and a minuscule twitch lived and quickly died on the mighty Hyuuga lord's left brow, "… underwear," the man said bluntly to the young adult in front of him.

The boy scratched the back of his head with a huge grin, "Gomen, Hiashi-sama, I've never heard of such a thing!!" the cheery and blunt manner the boy stated that made it that much worse.

-_HOW THE HELL…?!_-

Even true Hiashi couldn't fight the sudden urge to clinch his deadly fists in agitation, making them slightly twitch to anyone who bore a Sharingan, too bad none were around at this time. He took another deep breath, schooled his features, and addressed the befuddled boy again, "Thank you Rock Lee, you've been most he-" sadly he didn't get to finish, turn and bolt from the boy as he whipped out the one thing that would work on anyone, even the mighty Hyuuga lord.

-_DAMN PUPPY-EYES NO JUTSU!!_-

And indeed, Lee was a master at the puppy-eyes no jutsu, even if he didn't realize he was doing it as he grabbed the Hyuuga leader's hand and looked him directly into his stern white-eyes, "Please!! Hiashi-sama, will you teach me of this 'underwear' you speak so highly of?!"

-_Damn him!!_-

The inner man with the white-eyes twitched.

-_Damn him for using the Hyuuga's one weakness!!_-

Now, while it was semi-common knowledge that there was ONE area the mighty Byakuugan couldn't see, THAT was in fact not their REAL weakness. No! Their real weakness was any sort of uber-cute things like the puppy-eyes no jutsu. Why? Because unlike any 'normal' person, with their _superior_ vision, they couldn't look away from it, no matter where they turned or if they even closed their eyes, no, they would always see it no matter what. Because what people often didn't realize was that the Hyuuga ALWAYS had a smaller version of their mighty clan doujutsu on, no matter what, even if it only extended _just_ past their eyelids, it was on, else they'd be blind. Ask any medical professional, they'd tell you. And THAT is why the Hyuuga were powerless to deny the damnable cuteness…

-_Damnit!! How did he know!!_-

Inner Hiashi was ranting and raving, trying as hard as he might to look away from the adorable, if not creepy, puppy-eyes no jutsu coming from Rock Lee. It was just so pathetic he couldn't say 'no', and unfortunately, outer Hiashi wasn't fairing any better. With a curt nod, and a cough, the Hyuuga leader responded, "Very well."

And that was how Hyuuga Hiashi was 'conned' out of three hours of his life having to explain underwear to Rock Lee. He hoped for the rest of his life he wouldn't go within fifty feet of the young man. And he silently swore revenge on the younger 'green beast's' master.

-_Damn you Gai, DAMN YOU!! I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!!_-

And Hiashi finished his explanation, in FULL, and turned, hoping to be freed from the green monster. He didn't make it three feet before he heard the worst:

"So what do girls wear?"

This stopped the robe-wearing clan head in his tracks.

-_…_-

Inner Hiashi twitched, in fact all of Hiashi twitched at this point, as he could just sense it, that _**eevviill**_ look on the young man's face, and the sheer hope put into it as he excitedly expected the next lecture from his newfound second favorite teacher. The middle-aged man with the white-eyes turned, ever so slowly to face his doom, and begin an even LONGER lecture on women, lingerie, and anything else in-between.

-_Well… overall, this __**IS**__ a more interesting topic…_-

This time, inner Hiashi grinned an evil, satanic, sadistic grin.

-_What better way to get back at the 'Proud Green Beast' then by completely corrupting his student… hehehe_-

The Hyuuga leader turned on his heel, grabbing Lee by his shoulder and began walking with his new '_protégé_', no one would ever notice the ever so miniscule evil grin on his stone-cold features as he guided the young man next to him, "Now, Lee-kun, let's start off with something simple… panties…"

Rock Lee would never be the same again…

* * *

A/N: again, i have no idea where it came from, it has next to nothing to do with Neji, and i feel like simply laughing my ass off.... XD

and maybe, just maybe, i'll get to explaining how i see the functioning of the Byakuugan, after i get up off the floor and stop laughing first... XD

Reviews PLEASE!! you know you wanna say something after this -evil grin-

till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!!

-Ikasury


	10. The Byakuugan

A/N: never expect this kinda updating again... i just happened to write this out while i had a second, since i couldn't get the idea of explaining the Byakuugan out of my head... and i felt oddly motivated to write this....

Dis: refer to the sign -points to sign that says 'don't own'- although i think i should say, the whole idea of the functioning of the Byakuugan isn't entirely mine, i read a really good examination on another site, but i think it got destroyed or something cause i can't find it... although, the idea of the 'Cubes' is all mine... it was a spur of the moment decision XP

Enjoy!!

* * *

Today's Subject: Hyuuga Hiashi (The Byakuugan)

(This piece is comprised of the inner writings of a certain… document… found in the recesses of the Hyuuga 'Archives'… this time in the dusty, damp, far back corner of the basement… below the basement… entitled 'Why I hate our clan Doujutsu', now while there is no name stating who is the author, it is safe to assume the from the handwriting, seeing as it is similar to the previous document found in the 'Attic'… let's continue)

-_The Byakuugan is our clan's mighty bloodline…_-

A young dark haired boy of about the age of 13 was laying flat on his back in a cramped tent trying desperately to get some sleep.

-_With it we are able to detect lies and see through all Genjutsu, out of all known Doujutsu, our Byakuugan has the greatest insight, __**FAR**__ surpassing that mongrel strain the Uchiha's have… hehe_-

But, unfortunately for this white-eyed youth, his troublesome mind wouldn't allow him his night of sleep. In fact he was bored, hot, sweaty, and the snoring for that insufferable blonde boy was keeping him up, so his mind tended to wonder, and for whatever reason it lead to his own white-eyes.

-_With its unnatural insight, and our ability to extend our vision far past normal, seeing through walls and just about EVERYTHING, plus being able to actually __**see**__ Tenketsu and the Chakra Circulatory system we have developed an unsurpassable fighting style that uses these abilities to their maximum, Jyuuken, our family's gentle fist_-

The boy's eyes narrowed as he looked up at the ceiling of the tent, without any real effort he saw past the normally opaque sheet that separated him from the outside world to see the myriad of stars on the outside. He frowned, only slightly.

-_But there's a lot more to our family 'inheritance' that no one else really knows_-

His magnificent white eyes scanned the heavens, picking out constellations, trailing a wayward cloud, even finding the giblis moon. He took no real note of any of it.

-_What many others may not know is that we can actually see at night, almost like it's the day, only _slightly_ darker, not really anywhere near enough to hinder our sight_-

He scanned the area around him, noting the trees in perfect detail, all the way down to seeing a sleeping bark-colored moth flutter its wing in sleep. He kept scanning, going all around him, finding a den of moles under him about five feet, a flock of sleeping birds to the left, an owl passing by following a scurrying mouse.

-_Our eyes, even in the dark still have perfect perception; every detail is clear as day…_-

He scowled again, not really caring since he was generally alone, that blonde bumpkin was sound asleep next to him, so he should be fine, even if he finally did stop snoring.

-_Another thing people seem to keep forgetting, we have 360 degree vision, WE DON'T HAVE TO TURN OUR HEADS TO SEE SOMETHING!!_-

He mentally growled. That girl he was teamed up with, damnable Tsume made the odd comment one day of how he knew something was coming if he was 'looking' at it. He simply told her about his family doujutsu the Byakuugan, about its spherical vision and properties. She stood behind him with a dumbfounded look and replied, '_But it's not on?_'

-_Fools, another thing no one seems to realize, the Byakuugan is __**ALWAYS**__ freaking 'on'!! There's no bloody 'off' switch to this thing, there's 'normal' and 'enhanced' when we pump more chakra into it to extend our vision or change it to chakra-sensing… how the hell do you think we can 'SEE' for crying out loud?!_-

Another scowl came across his face. Hiashi had discovered very young his eyes were _**very**_ different from the other kids in school. For one thing, they had pupils, and he didn't.

-_Oh gee, I don't have a hole in my cornea to allow light in so I can see!! But nooooooo…. I must still be able to even though that DOESN'T MAKE __**SENSE!!**_-

Unlike others of his clan, little Hiashi was actually '_curious_' about 'How the hell do our eyes work?' so after extensive study and examination, of his own eyes and those of his clansmen, and mainly his brother, the young Heir started to get a handle on things, or so he figured. He was only 13, and his access to anatomy literature was limited, by apparently knowing how 'normal' eyes worked was 'common knowledge' so he simply compiled a list of what was different between his eyes and those of every other kid he'd seen.

-_for one thing, our eyes only have ONE type of retinal cell… everyone else has these 'Rods' and 'Cones', one to see motion, the 'Rods', and the other to see color, the 'Cones', with a large cluster in the back center, directly parallel with the pupil called the 'Fovea'… but our Byakuugan is very different… we don't have 'Rods', 'Cones' or a 'Fovea', we don't even have a pupil… our retina covers the entirety of our internal ocular structure, except where the optical nerve connects, and is covered in very unique cells I can only call 'Cubes' which seem to be extremely chakra sensitive and perform the task of both 'Rods' and 'Cones' along with various other tasks that allow for our 'enhanced' vision… there is no 'Fovea' since there's nowhere to directly focus, we simply see everywhere at once…_-

Young Hiashi actually enjoyed his little stint into anatomy, learning about the special functions of something so small and mundane. But in his quest to find what was different about his eyes, he also found many things that were still the same, only served little to no purpose in his Byakuugan eyes.

-_From what I read there are various other structures that are still present in our eyes, and they act like they cover the same function they would in a normal eye, only with ours they're completely vestigial… I think… like there is still a lens, but without light it can't focus anything, yet it somehow does since it reacts to our need to 'focus' more on any area, I guess it changed through our ocular development… and our Iris is still there, just under a layer of grown over sclera that covers it to protect the light sensitive 'Cubes'… but like the lens still reacts when we 'focus', which is why our eyes seem to 'change' when the Byakuugan is 'active'…_-

The little Hyuuga heir had to stop himself from snorting. Yes, while he was technically alone, with the blonde next to him sound asleep, he didn't really want to do anything that could accidently wake him up. Let alone something as indignant as snorting over a silly thought.

-_Oh well… it doesn't matter… at least I can finally get some sleep now…_-

The Hyuuga heir rolled over facing away from the snoring idiot. He tried bringing as much chakra away from his eyes as possible so he could get some sleep. It got relatively dark, and after living his entire life used to this he slowly let his consciousness drift into the semblance of sleep he was used to.

He was too out of it to realize the shift of motion next to him. His Byakuugan was too withdrawn to see the presence next to him. It wasn't until the audible _click!_ And his mind was overrun with a blinding bright light that the usually stoic Hyuuga boy screamed out in pain.

-_HOLY SHIT!! OW, OW, OW, OW… OH GOD THAT BURNS!! MY RETINAS!!_-

The boy quickly sat up vigorous rubbing his burning eyes. He heard someone distinctly laughing in front of him. The young white-eyed boy managed to get the ache down to a low burn, and enough to look up at the blonde boy laughing in front of him with a flashlight in his hand.

Young Namikaze Minato was slamming his fist on the ground laughing, "Oh man… oh man… I didn't think that would actually work!! Haha!!" he found a sudden kick to his ribs that sent him sprawled on his back courteous of an angry prepubescent Hyuuga male.

"You bastard!" the young white-eyed boy growled at the blonde, "Speak of this to anyone and you'll never have children!" he gave the blonde another swift kick, although this one was slightly less detrimental then the previous.

The blonde boy put his hands up in defense, "Hai, hai!!" he smiled brightly and openly to the fuming Hyuuga, his honest blue eyes meeting Hiashi's white, "I honestly just had to see if that would work," he sat up scratching the back of his head, "I always wondered how your eyes worked."

-_Cheeky bastard…_-

Little Hiashi crossed his arms and huffed, looking away from the blonde. He was actually slightly impressed the dimwit used his brain every now-and-then, and that unlike others he actually didn't buy into his clan's bullshit. He glanced at him a moment, not turning before scowling and laying back down, "go to sleep…"

-_Maybe now I can finally get some sleep…_-

He could almost feel the boy grin as he laid back down in his place. They lay in their cramped tent for a good few minutes in absolute silence. At this point Hiashi had thought the other boy had fallen asleep.

"Ya know," he heard the boy start, apparently he _wasn't_ asleep, "you had your eyes closed the whole time…"

"Shut up and go to sleep…" was all the young boy with the white-eyes was willing to say.

-_I hate our clan doujutsu at times…_-

* * *

A/N: i have actually had the whole idea of the flashlight and a sleeping Hyuuga since i learned about the clan, i'm actually glad i got to finally use it!! -does happy dance-

anywho, i gotta go quickly...

thanks to those who reviewed, i want more!! -grins- its so fun to have people inquire on my maddness... hehe

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!!

-Ikasury


End file.
